Caution: Children At Play
by waddiwasiwitch
Summary: Spike and Buffy have been turned into kids. The Scoobies have to figure out how to solve the mystery without them, while Buffy and Spike are stuck spending lots of time together much to her chagrin. This basically is a bit of fluff and hopefully will provide a few laughs.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Caution: Children at Play**

**Author: Waddiwasiwitch **

**Era: Season Five (somewhere between Out of my Mind and Fool for Love)**

**Rating: PG13 **

_**Genre: Kid fic**_

_**Summary: Spike and Buffy have been turned into kid. The Scoobies have to figure out how to solve the mystery without them, while Buffy and Spike are stuck spending lots of time together much to her chagrin. This basically is a bit of fluff and hopefully will provide a few laughs. The story has ten chapters, but I will only be posting five today. If you like you can read the rest on my livejournal because unfortunately I didn't get around to finishing the whole thing on time.**_

_**I would like to dedicate this to the wonderful Ginar369, who provided a beta, and the talented Ladyaisha, who was my sounding board and conspirator. Any mistakes are my own. **_

_**Caution: Children At Play**_

_**Chapter One**_

It had been a long time since Rupert Giles was a child. He had long since forgotten how children thought and behaved. He had no idea how to deal with them and he found himself completely at sea in the situation at hand. After all, the only children he had mixed with in years were teenagers; small children were a completely different kettle of fish. The watcher was stumped as to how it happened. One minute Spike and Buffy were arguing; the next there were two little children in their place. Not only did the children bear a startling resemblance to the vampire and the slayer; they were dwarfed by the adult sized clothes their grown up selves had been wearing. He had whipped his spectacles off and blinked once. He put them back on. They were still there. He blinked again, and then once more for good measure. It made no difference. Spike and Buffy were little kids as outlandish as it may seem. Spike's hair was no longer peroxide blonde but a mousy brown. Likewise Buffy's locks were darker than her usual blonde. The two were slumped on the floor looking as surprised as he.

"What happened?" Buffy scrunched up her nose. She looked down at her hand as she pulled herself to her feet. "I'm little – really little!"

Spike got to his feet also likely coming to the same conclusion. "Bloody hell, Rupert."

Giles was speechless. When he wasn't forthcoming, they turned to each other instead. Suddenly, Spike burst into laughter and pointed at the slayer. "Ha! I always knew you were a bottle blonde."

She put her hand to her hair reflexively. She narrowed her eyes. "You're one to talk. I should have the known the reason why you put so much gel in your hair is because it's naturally curly."

Spike scowled. He had no answer for that.

Giles decided that he needed to intervene before this got dusty. "Now, children!"

He succeeded as the two little faces turned to glare at him instead of each other. "We're not children."

However, his satisfaction was short-lived, because a mischievous Buffy turned back to Spike. "Speaking of - are you still even a vampire?"

The boy went into an angry game fame in response. _How extraordinary! How on earth had this come to pass?_ Giles was just relieved that at least the two seemed to be themselves at least.

Almost an hour later, Giles had managed to gather almost the whole Scooby gang in the shop, however all were still none the wiser. Only Tara was not yet present, although Willow reassured him that her girlfriend would arrive later. The reactions of the gang were varied between amusement from Xander, excitement from Willow and Anya's fear of the damage four little hands and legs could do to the merchandise.

"Oh you guys are just adorable." Willow smiled down at them.

"Will you quit it!" Spike snapped. "Can you just figure out what went wrong and fix it? I don't much like not being able to see over the bloody table."

Xander chortled. "Poor little Willie."

Spike glared at him. "When I'm back to normal I'll bite you."

Xander smirked down at him. "You're neutered remember?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Shut up you guys! None of this male posturing is helping us figure out what happened here."

Giles nodded in approval. "Yes – Buffy's right. Let's go through this again. Talk me through everything you did today."

Spike and Buffy sighed in unison.

"How will answering the same question for the third time help?" Spike's tone was irritable. "You could at least get us something decent to wear. These clothes are falling off us."

"You do look rather ridiculous," Anya added.

"Thanks ever so."

"Anya, maybe you could go to the shops and pick up an outfit each for them. Take my credit card." Giles reached into his pocket and handed her the card. "Nothing too expensive, mind you. Hopefully, this will be over before the day is out."

She smiled at him and he felt a sense of dread. Still it had to be done. She took off happily out the door.

"Now back to the matter at hand," he began. "Has anybody got any ideas?"

"Maybe it will wear off," Xander suggested unhelpfully. To tell the truth the watcher suspected that he was particularly amused to see Spike reduced to a child.

"I'm sure there's a spell that can fix this." Willow was in her element looking up magic books and researching.

Giles wasn't so sure. "I don't think we should be casting any spells until we know what caused this."

"Maybe the books will help us figure it out," she said turning back to her research.

He had to admit she had a point. They just would have to tread carefully.

Giles turned to the little slayer and vampire. "I think you two should hide out in the back. You look awfully conspicuous dressed as you are. Once Anya returns then you can come out again."

"You expect me to hang out all on my own with Mr Peroxide."

"Not like I'm getting any pleasure in spending my time in your company, Princess."

"That right, Spikey?" She got right up into his face. "Why then do you persist in hanging around like a bad smell?" She gave him a hard push knocking him against a shelf containing several expensive objects. Giles ran over to prevent them from falling and smashing to the ground. He was too late to prevent the tinkling sound of glass breaking.

"Blast it! Those were worth a lot of money."

"Sorry," Buffy muttered, with an apologetic look. "It's all Spike's fault for being so annoying."

"Oh, Buffy. Do grow up, would you?"

"That's kind of the crux of the problem, Watcher," Spike chimed in.

"Fine. Stay here then and scare away all of my customers. We clearly can't leave you two alone without some kind of incident. I trust that the training room would be demolished."

An hour later and Anya still had not returned. Giles was hoping she would arrive back soon and take over the till. The look he was getting from customers for having two rude and badly dressed children underfoot was irritating to say the least.

A little hand tugged at him. "Rupert, I want my fags back." Spike looked up with big pleading blue eyes. He would never tell Spike this, but he really did make an adorable child.

Giles shook his head. "No – it's a filthy, disgusting habit."

The doorbell tinkled as a customer walked in. She was a heavily built lady with hair tied up in a bun under a rather eccentric hat. "Welcome," he said genially. "Let me know if I can help."

Spike tugged at his sleeve again.

He snapped. "What?" The customer looked at him reproachfully.

"I'll set that nice lady's hat on fire if you don't give me my smokes," Spike whispered. "I still have the lighter."

"No you don't!" A smug Buffy came from behind with the lighter in her hand. "Here, Giles."

Spike pouted. "This is no fun. I'm over a hundred years old."

"I know your pain, Spike." Anya walked in at that moment and she was bearing more than a few shopping bags. The watcher looked in consternation at her. He really shouldn't have given her his credit card.

"Did you have to buy out all the shops? I asked you to pick up just one outfit each."

"Who knows how long this will last, Giles? This could take a while to solve. Besides, the clothes are so cute. " She dropped the bags in front of him and then turned her back on him heading over to the customer. He left his place by the cash register and grabbed the bags taking them into the back room.

Buffy followed him eagerly to find a change of clothing. "Spike, come on," she called back.

She tore over to the bags as soon as he put them low enough for her. "I really need a change of clothes."

Spike arrived in shortly after. His lip was still stuck out. Giles sighed. "The sulking doesn't help your case not to be treated like a child."

"I'm not sulking," he protested. "I'm being annoyed."

"Annoying more like," retorted the man. "You know it's hard to take you seriously when you look like a child, **boy**." He couldn't resist the last dig and Spike glared malevolently at him.

A whoop of delight from Buffy interrupted them. "A cookie monster t-shirt! I love the cookie monster."

Giles could barely supress a snicker. "You don't say!"

She looked a little red at her outburst; however, she continued to rummage through the shopping bags, while Spike stuck in the corner of the room watching the proceedings. "Look Spike. There's got to be something you like in here."

He walked a little bit too casually, as if he was pretending to not care. Giles wondered if it was his imagination or was it just the fact that they were so little, but it seemed as if they were beginning to behave differently. He shook his head, deciding it was his imagination. The vampire pulled out a pair of black jeans. He then went through several t-shirts before discarding them on the floor. Giles was astonished when he heard a sudden exclamation of "Cool!" from the boy. Spike had a t-shirt with slogan "Born to be Wild" on the front. He looked just as surprised as Giles. "Bugger, I'm spendin' too much time with you bloody colonials," he muttered.

When Buffy and Spike returned to the shop, they looked much more befitting of their age. Giles was loath to admit it, but it appeared Anya had indeed done a good job. Hopefully, when tomorrow would come, the two would be back to their normal selves. They both found themselves a chair amongst the Scoobies. Xander was dozing on the books, Anya was going through their accounts and Willow was still reading through the books to no avail. Spike and Buffy were fidgeting on their seats and their constant movement was making Giles irritated. "You could help," he said waspishly.

They sighed dramatically. Spike started swinging his chair back and forth.

Buffy blew some gum. "Do we have to?"

Giles glared at them. "We are doing this for you two after all. The least you can do is help us."

He handed them both some of the thinner books. "Now get cracking!"

"Bloody hell, Rupert." Spike rolled his eyes. "You're not my Watcher, so you can quit bossing me around unless you're going to pay me. I'll help but only because I'm sick of being Peter Pan."

Giles rubbed his forehead. He was getting a headache. "Help for whatever reason you wish. I don't have time for your prattling."

After another hour of unyielding research they still were nowhere near figuring out what had happened to the slayer and vampire. Tempers were beginning to flare. Xander and Anya had left when it had been time to close the shop, but Willow stayed to help with the research. Tara had turned up as well. The two that they were trying to help were no help. Spike surprisingly had one of Xander's comics hidden in a book that he was perusing. Giles didn't say anything but the thought that William the Bloody had swiped Xander's comics couldn't possibly be a good thing and continued to rouse his suspicions regarding the full extent of their magical predicament. He suspected that Buffy had been reading the same page over for the last hour. She was sighing every so often to display her irritation at the task.

"But Giles, I'm much better with the fists than the books," she moaned eventually.

Spike slammed his book down. "I agree with the slayer. There's no point reading through all this mumbo jumbo. What we should be doing is finding the tosser that did this to us."

Giles was finding it very hard to keep his cool. "And pray tell, how are we supposed to do that?"

"You'll figure it out. You White Hats always do, but I'll be damned if I will sit one more minute reading this tripe."

Tara coughed gently to gain their attention. "I think we should test out their powers. I know they are little and all, but they appear to have their supernatural strength. I think it would be a good idea to check." She smiled at Buffy and Spike. "I think you two look like you need some fun."

"Well Glinda, I can't say no to that. Not happy about poked or prodded, but some sparring sounds like a good idea." He raised a brow. "You think you can best me, Slayer?"

"Always, Spike."

Giles gave Tara a grateful smile. Maybe this would be enough to diffuse the situation and shed some light at the same time. Once the two left to go into the training room Giles decided he needed to share his rising suspicion with the two witches.

"It's strange." He scratched his ear. "Have you noticed their odd behaviour?"

Tara bit her lip. "What- what do you mean?"

"Maybe it's all in my head. The things they say and the way they say them strike me as out of the ordinary. It's like they are regressing into childhood, but it's taking longer for their minds to get there than it took their bodies. If I had to hazard a guess I would say they are six or seven years old physically and their minds are regressing to that point also."

Tara nodded. "-and at the moment they're behaving like teenagers. It's like the spell wasn't complete. Both the body and mind should have been at an equal age after the spell. I never saw Buffy blowing gum before or Spike reading a comic. I hate to say it but it makes a weird kind of sense."

Willow went pale at that. "Sense – what sense? They still seem like Buffy and Spike to me."

Tara patted her hand sympathetically. "There's still them – just a little younger."

"And as I said, maybe it's all in my mind." He really hoped it was.

Buffy's voice sounded from the back room. "Giles! Can I stake Spike?"

"Oh joy!" He spoke sardonically. "I better go and play referee."


	2. Chapter 2

**Caution: Children at Play**

**Chapter Two **

Spike awoke with a start. For a moment he didn't know where he was. He was lying on something hard and there was a blanket draped over him. The curious event of the previous day came back to him. He was in the Magic Box of course. He was lying on the floor using a coat as a pillow. He had been interrupted from his sleep by a load snore coming in the direction of the table. The culprit was the sleeping Giles, drool leaking out of his mouth onto his precious books. He snorted at the sight. He looked around for the two witches, but Glinda and Red must have left while he was asleep. He turned to his right, where Buffy was sleeping. She was still bite-sized instead of adult sized. Sleep hadn't helped their little predicament obviously. The mojo still held sway. He cast his mind back to previous day. The sparring session had gone well. In fact it had gone so well that Buffy and Spike exhausted by their smaller and more inadequate bodies had fallen asleep shortly after. It appeared they still had their gifts but less control over them. It was like there was an indefinable barrier or something. He didn't feel himself and it wasn't just his body but his mind too. He wondered should he say something, but then he didn't know what to say. There was the rub. He looked at the time on the large clock on the wall. It was shortly after midnight. He was sick of having to hang out in the shop all day long when he had only come for some burba weed to spice up his blood. He needed some fresh air, but where could he go. On a normal night he would just head to Willys, however that was completely out the question considering his predicament. Or was it? He was struck by an insane idea that just might work. Only he would have the get the slayer on board first.

He poked the sleeping Buffy. "Slayer?"

She tossed onto her side but made no other indication that she heard him. Why wasn't she awake? Slayers were supposed to get all antsy when vampires were around. He poked her again.

She jumped up. "Jeez, Spike. What the hell? This better be good or you'll be seeing Mr Pointy in your chest before you dust."

He smirked. "I've just had an idea that could help solve our _little _problem."

"Couldn't you have had the idea at a reasonable hour?"

"No, I can't head out during the day without catching fire. You mightn't have noticed."

She rolled her eyes.

"Besides," he added, "Willy's would be empty."

She narrowed her eyes. "What do you mean?"

"We could go and beat up Willy for some information. He may have heard some rumblings."

"Like this? Are you crazy?"

"I'm not suggesting we walk into the bar. We go into the back and wait for Willy to close up. If somebody's been boasting then if anyone would hear it would be him."

He could see the warring emotions on her face. He knew he had won when she sighed. "If anything goes wrong then this is your fault."

Spike grinned and they crept out the front door as quietly as they could. Instead of walking towards the centre of town, he took the opposite direction.

"Hey, what you doing?"

"We need to stop by my crypt first."

"What's so important in your crypt?"

"I haven't had any blood all day and I'm feeling peckish alright. Besides it's probably a bit early to head to Willy's."

"I don't think going into the graveyard in the middle of the night is such a bright idea, Spike, even by your standards."

He continued walking. "Don't be such a killjoy, Slayer. We're creatures of the night; you and me."

She sighed and followed him. "Okay, okay. We better not let anyone see us."

"Don't worry about that, Slayer. I've no intention of letting anyone see me like this." He gestured to his small frame. It was humiliating enough being chipped, never mind the rest.

They managed to arrive at the crypt without incident. Spike listened carefully to make sure there were no intruders. It felt comforting to see his crypt as he left it earlier that day. Buffy was struggling to see in the dark. It was easy to forget how limited human eyesight was. He pulled a box of matches from his pocket. He struck the match and used it to light the candles.

He turned to smirk at the slayer, who was giving him a dirty look. "You stole my lighter and I stole these from the shop."

Buffy ignored him and looked around. She had her nose in the air as usual. "How can you live in a place like this?"

He rolled his eyes. "Vampire! Why do you people always forget? Besides it's perfectly comfortable and homely."

"For spiders." She brushed at a cobweb for emphasis. "Ugh."

Spike decided that it wasn't worth arguing about. She was obviously in right strop and as usual he was getting the brunt. He took off his jacket and laid it on an armchair. "Just make yourself at home. I'll just get myself some blood."

He walked to his fridge and pulled out a bag of blood. His fangs were itching and he couldn't even wait to heat it in the microwave. Tearing it open with his teeth he drank it down gratefully. Even though he had gotten used to it, pig's blood was nowhere near as satisfying as the human kind.

"You're disgusting Spike." Buffy was standing in the corner watching him eat.

He arched a brow. "You certainly look like you made yourself home," he said sarcastically.

"Can't relax." She hugged her arms to herself. "I've been thinking. What if they can't fix us?"

He had been wondering the same thing. He couldn't bring himself to admit his fears though.

"We'll figure it out," he said in an attempt to reassure her as well as himself.

She worried her lip. He could smell the blood. "I'm worried about Dawnie."

He came closer to her. "Your mum's a strong lady and more than capable of looking after little sis."

Buffy had managed to hold things together for so long, but it seemed she no longer was capable and to his horror burst into tears. "You don't understand. There are some things she can't save Dawn from."

He arched a brow. "Oh?"

"I can't tell you," she said between sniffles.

He knew not to press her any further. He settled for patting her arm awkwardly. She smiled tearfully and suddenly embarrassed wiped her eyes. "Thanks."

Suddenly, she gave him a suspicious look. "Why are you being nice to me?"

Spike sighed. "You're welcome, you ungrateful bint."

She narrowed her eyes. "I said thank you, didn't I?"

"Yeah and then you accused me of having an agenda."

He knew she was on the offensive hating for him to see her so emotional. She was trying to surreptitiously wipe her eyes and he decided to give her a few moments to compose herself. He could use that time to get the other thing he had decided to come to his crypt for.

"We can go in a few. I need to get something first though." He jumped down to the lower level into his bedroom and turned back to make sure she wasn't watching him. It wouldn't do for her to see him stow away a tub of gel. He hid it behind his back as he went to the upper level.

Buffy was looking a lot better now after her fit of crying earlier. She even had a little sparkle in her eyes. "Hey what's that?"

Spike panicked. _Bloody hell why didn't think to put on his jacket as it would have fitted easily in the pocket. _

He retorted. "None of your business, Slayer."

She reached behind him and burst into laughter when she saw what it was. "You're so vain."

He glared at her and the impossible bint just laughed harder.

"Come on then," he said irritably, putting on the jacket and popped the gel in his pocket. He stopped suddenly. He could hear the sound of footsteps approaching. He stretched out his arm to stop her progress.

"Someone's coming," he hissed.

The door swung open and in walked a familiar loose skinned demon. Buffy was in a fighting stance. Spike almost laughed. "It's okay, Slayer. Clem's a mate. We play poker."

Her eyes went right up her head. "But you don't have any money?"

"We play for kittens, slayer."

She had a horrified look on her face.

A cough from the amiable demon interrupted them. "Sorry, but what's going on."

"Haven't a bloody clue, mate."

"We're little," Buffy added.

Clem was looking even more perplexed.

Spike just grinned. "Want to come and help us interrogate Willy?"

"Don't you mean me interrogate and you watch, Fangless?"

He was about to stick out his tongue when he realised the juvenility of it. He made an obscene gesture instead.

"Don't do that!" Clem shook his head in protest. "It's disturbing to see a small child doing that."

Spike leaned back on his heels. "You coming?"

"Spike, I don't think it's a good idea, but if you insist on going then I better come too."

The three made a strange band of companions. Clem muttered every so often how much of a bad idea this was. Buffy and Spike were much too involved in their verbal sparring to pay him much heed. They finally arrived at the demon bar, after making their way through the sewers. Clem insisted they take the route where they would less likely to be discovered and besides there was a sewer that came right up behind Willy's.

Spike peered out under the lid. "All clear." He pulled himself out and landed gracefully.

Buffy and Clem followed quietly if not as elegantly.

"I stink." She frowned.

Spike took an exaggerated sniff. "We all do, Slayer."

Clem left out a snort which was probably a supressed snigger. Buffy was eyeing them both dangerously and Spike suspected that even though she was pint-sized the demon was still wary. That was a good sign he hoped.

Spike pointed at the door. "We'll go in there and wait for Willy. He rarely comes in the back during opening hours. Keeping a demon clientele happy is a tricky job."

"Why did I let you make the plan again?"

"I don't know, Slayer. Have you got a better plan?"

When she didn't answer he continued. "Then I reckon it's the best plan we've got." He went over to the door and listened carefully to make sure nobody was in the back.

Clem looked at his watch. "It shouldn't be too much longer. I think we should stay close to the door in case we need to run."

Spike could see Buffy's eyes were full of the determination he was used to seeing. It was the first time he'd seen it since their transformation. "We won't need to run. I might be little. I'm still the slayer."

_There's my slayer._ Spike put his hands in his pockets and leaned against the wall. Clem had been right when he said that it wouldn't be long. They were only there fifteen anxious minutes before Willy came into the back. Buffy struck quickly knocking the bar owner to the floor.

"Hi Willy," she chirped, "it's nice to beat you again."

He looked confusingly up at her raised fist. "What's going on?"

Spike went into game face. "Willy, we're looking for information. Surely you recognise your old pal Spike and the Slayer?"

"Whoa!" Willy exclaimed. He looked at Spike and said, "You're shorter than normal. And the slayer too. I mean more vertically challenged."

The vampire was not impressed with the man's babbling. He was one to talk considering his stature.

Willy turned to Buffy then. "Are you really the Slayer?"

She nodded. "I can show you if you like."

"No!" He held his arms up. "What can I do for you?"

She withdrew her fist but looked like she still meant business. "As you can see somebody has done something to us. We need to find out who."

"I don't know anything, I swear."

"Was there anybody talking about doing something to us or causing mischief in Sunnydale? Anything at all?"

Willy scratched his chin in thought. "There was a mage talking about enjoying a bit of chaos. Ethan was his name and he had a British accent."

She balled her little fists. "Ethan Rayne- I'll kill him!"

She tore over to the door. "Come on. Let's go! We need to tell Giles. He'll know what to do"

Spike turned back to Willy with the most foreboding expression he could manage. "Don't tell anybody. We don't need the demon world knowing that the Slayer's a rugrat."

Clem waved at Willy. "See you around, Willy."

Buffy was waiting outside for them. She was pacing her arms swinging at her side. "Let's go!"

Clem walked back with them to the Magic Box.

He extended his hand to Buffy just before he left. "It was nice to meet you."

She shook it in return. "Likewise. And thank you."

Spike could swear his friend was blushing. "I hope you get back to being your normal size soon enough."

"Me too."

Clem nodded at them and they watched the demon walk away. Spike was about to open the door when Buffy put her hand on his arm. "Is it just me or are you feeling kinda wonky? I'm not just talking physically, but like I'm younger or something. "

He nodded. "I didn't want to be the first one to say it. It feels weird."

There was a worried silence between them. She broke it after few moments. "That's not only thing. It's also weird that you're the only person I feel comfortable with at the moment."

Her tone was playful and he laughed.

"You're not such bad company either." He smiled.

He opened the door only to be met by furious face of Giles. He stepped back on instinct. Annoyed at himself he walked around the raging watcher.

"I've been worried sick. Where have you been?"

Buffy's wide eyes were staring up at the Watcher. "Sorry."

This seemed to calm him down somewhat. "What were you two thinking?"

Spike smirked. "What can I say? I'm a bad influence, but we do have some information that you might be interested in."

"Tell me."

Buffy wore the most innocent expression she could muster. "Spike had a plan that we go see Willy and see if he had heard anything."

This was true of course, but did Buffy have to take such pleasure in laying the blame firmly at his feet? He tried not to laugh at the apoplectic expression on the Watcher's face. Giles gave him a malevolent stare and Spike looked around to make sure no stakes were in sight.

Buffy coughed drawing her Watcher's attention back. "Willy told us Ethan Rayne was in town and he was making some big noise about chaos."

Spike shrugged. "Of course it could be nothing. Willy didn't hear any mention of any particulars. I reckon we should have a word with this bloke."

Giles shook his head. "It's just the sort of thing Ethan would enjoy and I bet he's around here somewhere watching it unfold."

To be continued….


	3. Chapter 3

**Caution Children**

**Chapter Three**

Shortly after dawn Tara and Willow returned to the Magic Box. Tara was surprised to see Giles with bloodshot eyes and looking like he had hardly slept a wink. His clothes were crumpled and the little vampire and slayer were nowhere to be seen.

Tara looked sympathetically at him. "Did you stay here last night?"

"Yes," he replied. "I did manage to catch a few hours, but our intrepid duo decided it would be a lark to go to Willys."

Tara's mouth was agape. "Oh my goddess."

Willow's eyes widened. "They did what?"

Giles smiled humourlessly. "To say I got a fright would be an understatement. Spike figured they could get some information from Willy the Snitch and turns out he was right. We think Ethan's behind it."

Willow met his gaze meaningfully. "I thought he was in jail or something."

Tara furrowed her brow. "Who's Ethan?"

"Ethan Rayne and I go way back. He's a warlock and he loves to cause mayhem. He probably thinks he owes me one after last time."

Willow smiled at her girlfriend. "Remember when Giles got turned into a demon. That was Ethan Rayne. He even made me turn into a sexy ghost one time."

Tara's lips twitched upward. "I would have liked to see that." She looked over at Giles again. He looked fit to drop he was so exhausted. "Maybe you should go home and get some sleep. You can leave Spike and Buffy to us."

Willow looked around apparently only just noticing their absence. "Where are they?"

He yawned. "Out in the back room sleeping their adventure off." He stretched his arms above his head. "I think I might take you up on the offer if you're sure. A couple of hours might serve me well."

"I'm going out back to check on them." Tara headed for the training room and opened the door as quietly as she could. There was gym mats placed on the floor, where Buffy and Spike were sleeping peacefully. They looked like angels. Tara bit back a laugh at this thought. She left as silently as possible.

The first thing she saw as she went back into the shop was the curious face of her girlfriend. "Are they still little?"

She nodded. "Little and cute."

Giles coughed to draw attention to himself once more. "I think I'll be off now. Call me if you need me."

Tara and Willow watched as he let himself out.

Two hours later Anya arrived to open the shop. Willow was at her computer looking to see if she could get any information on Ethan Rayne's whereabouts, while Tara was surrounded by books. The former demon looked around carefully making sure none of her precious merchandise was missing or broken. She smiled brightly at the two witches. "Where's Giles?"

Tara grabbed another book and opened it. "He was here all night and he needed some sleep."

Anya walked over to the cash register and started getting everything ready before the shop would open. "Did he take the little cretins with him?"

"Little cretins?" Tara frowned before suddenly realising what Anya meant. "Oh you mean Spike and Buffy. They are asleep in the back room."

Anya looked worried. "But what if they break the merchandise?"

Willow rolled her eyes. "Well I'm sorry that Buffy's wellbeing is nothing compared to your stupid merchandise."

Anya glared at the red haired witch. "I care about Buffy's wellbeing." She paused for a moment before adding, "And my merchandise isn't stupid."

Before the petty argument could escalate any further a loud bang from the back room interrupted them. "See what I mean," Anya huffed. "They better not have broken anything expensive."

All three of them rushed towards the source of the noise. Buffy was on the vaulting horse, her arms supporting her body. Spike was sitting on the floor watching.

"What was that noise?" Anya demanded.

"Slayer landed on her arse," Spike announced with a smirk.

"Yeah, after you gave me a helpful push."

"What can I say? My mother raised me to be a gentleman."

"Very funny, Spike." Buffy landed gracefully on the floor. A mischievous smile appeared on her face. "Did you say your mom raised you to be a gentleman? What happened to Mr "I was always bad"?"

The three women didn't bother to smother their laughter. It seemed that being little didn't stop Spike having a big mouth. He glared at them all. "I want breakfast, 'm feeling right peckish."

"Oooh me too!" Buffy did a cartwheel across the floor. "Something sweet."

Tara wasn't altogether sure that sugar was a good idea. Looking at Buffy's effusive manner, she reckoned that their minds had slipped back a couple of more years while they slept.

Willow beckoned to Buffy. "Why don't we go get breakfast and we can drop into the butchers for Spike."

Tara looked at Spike, who was looking quite miserable at the moment in contrast to the slayer. "I'll stay behind and keep Spike company, while Anya opens the shop."

The other three left and Spike's blue gaze met hers. "Don't need a nanny, you know."

"I know." She smiled in what she hoped was a reassuring way. "It must be hard."

He looked as if he was about to answer her question honestly, but thought better of it. "Sodding childish impulses."

"I remember those," she said.

"I had forgotten those seeing as it was well over a hundred years when I was all kid sized. "

"We'll figure this out and get you back to normal. Giles says that you and Buffy think that this warlock's behind it."

He mussed his hair. "You're not a bad bird, Glinda. I guess you clever types have figured that we are getting progressively younger in mind."

She nodded. "We think they messed up the spell and that's why it is taking your minds longer to catch up to the rest of your body."

The two of them stayed in complete silence for a few moments thinking on what they had just discussed.

"I'm bored," Spike moaned once the silence got too much to bear.

"How about we play a board game?"

Tara's suggestion was met with a raised brow. "I'm not playing a sodding board game. Those things are bloody stupid."

She bit her lip trying hard not to laugh. "I bet you're afraid I'll beat you."

His eyes narrowed dangerously at the implication. "I'm not afraid-" He stopped suddenly as if aware he was being had. "Oi! I knew what you're up to, Glinda."

She lifted up her hands in mock surrender with a sheepish grin. "Did it work?"

He raised his eyes to the ceiling shaking his head. "Go on then, you silly bint. It's got to be better than doing nothing. Although, I'm not going to play something too juvenile, mind."

"We have chess and scrabble somewhere in the shop. Your choice?"

"Can you play chess?"

"Yes – not very well though. Willow's your girl for chess."

"I haven't play chess in years," he mused, scratching his head. "I wonder have the rules changed?"

"Chess it is then." Tara went off to fetch the chess set. She thought it strange to see the vampire acting like a kid but in another way it wasn't all that unusual. Spike had always had a youthful exuberance; He was an undead creature with so much life. She had not known him as the unchipped menace the rest of the Scoobies had met. Yet, she could see a vulnerability that surely couldn't have appeared overnight along with the chip. Spike wore a mask and if Tara could hazard a guess then his human face would be his true one and not his demon.

A half an hour later they were both sitting cross legged on the floor pondering their next move. Willow and Buffy had been gone a long while now and Anya was still busy most likely counting the cash or merchandise. Tara returned her attention to the game and sighed as she saw she was short of moves to make.

Spike caught her expression and smirked. She didn't know why she was surprised that he had almost all her pieces by now. "You're good at this game."

His smirk dropped and he eyed her suspiciously. "You better not be letting me win."

"Of course not." Her cheeks went beet red. "I'm just not very good."

His expression softened and he seemed to accept her words. After a moment of silence he spoke again. "I'm bored – let's play something else."

"But you're winning?"

"I know. Do you have a deck of cards? Let's play rummy or poker."

She knew exactly what he was thinking when she saw the mischievous glint in his blue eyes. "No- besides I won't play you for money."

He stuck out his lip making her laugh, then a smirk appeared on his face.

She shook her head. "No matter how much you pout," she added.

He looked scandalised. "I didn't pout. You're no fun, Glinda."

She found herself voicing aloud what she had been wondering for a while. "Why do you call me that?"

"Well you are aren't you?"

"What?" she asked.

"You're a good one – the good witch. It fits."

She was truly touched by his words. "Um thanks."

"How about that game of scrabble?"

"You don't have any patience do you?" She waggled her little finger at him. "Is this why your nefarious plans always failed?"

He snorted at that. "Yeah- I was never one for following through on a plan. I can come up with them all well and good. It's the follow through I cock up on. I follow my gut instead of my brain. It's more fun that way."

Tara could hear the sound of Willow's voice coming from the shop. They must be back. She gave him a calculating glance, wondering if he heard their arrival earlier and if that may be his real reason for ending their completely one sided game of chess. They cleared up the chess game between them and she reached for the scrabble box, which she had brought into the training room along with the chess set. Buffy walked into the room with a steaming mug full of blood for Spike and a doughnut in the other.

"We're about to play Scrabble. Do you want to join us?"

She caught Spike's hopeful look at the slayer. She had a suspicion he had developed a thing for Buffy. "Okay." The slayer shrugged. "I'm not so good with words, but Mr Braindead Vampire doing board games, I've got to see this."

His face broke into a furious scowl. "Oy!"

"Buffy! That's not very nice." Tara flushed immediately as soon as she said it. She never felt comfortable correcting others and she worried that she didn't know Buffy well enough to say something like that to her. Still, Buffy looked a little sheepish. Spike was still looking both furious and determined at the same time. _Oh it's on. Buffy had better watch out._ Tara wasn't a gambler, but if she was her money would be on the little vampire. Spike and Buffy glared at one another making her feel uncomfortable. She was grateful when Willow arrived in the door. "I bear caffeine goodness, baby." Willow dropped down on the floor beside her taking her hand and rubbing her thumb across it in a caress. Tara turned to face her girlfriend smiling. She heard gagging sounds behind her and quickly turned to the exaggeratedly innocent looking faces of the slayer and vampire. She shook her head bemusedly.

"Do you want to play Scrabble, Red?"

"Sure." Willow smiled. "Isn't this nice?"

Spike and Buffy looked at each other and rolled their eyes simultaneously. They seemed to be doing a lot of things simultaneously lately.

The vampire was in winning form again and matching Willow in their quest for the longest, most obscure words they could think of.

"That's not a real word, " Buffy accused him when he spelt the word "farding" on the board..

"It is so," he replied vehemently, looking at Tara for support.

She nodded. "Sorry Buffy, that's a real word."

"So there, slayer!"

"I don't understand." Buffy threw her hands in the air dramatically. "You're not supposed to know words. How do you know words?"

"Words form when you open your mouth into particular shapes and make certain sounds."

"Ha, ha, Mr know it all! Since when did you swallow a dictionary? Unless it's from eating a Watcher perhaps?"

"Of course I know words slayer. You're the one who can't master the English language."

Buffy ignored the jibe. "I know what's going on. I bet that's a bad word. Yeah I bet that's some British swear word."

He balled his fists angrily. "This might actually surprise you to know, Slayer. I have actually read books."

Buffy laughed in his face. "So are you telling me Mr Big Bad is actually Mr Big Nerd."

Spike went into game face and Tara stood in between them. _Maybe this scrabble idea wasn't such a good idea after all?_ Her head was aching. Just then Anya's angry face appeared in the door. "You're scaring away the customers and they're taking their money away with them."

The ex-demon said this as if this was a matter of life or death. "I'm going to call Giles. Maybe he can control them before they lose us all our custom." With that she walked out of the room as they fought hard not to laugh. They listened to the sound of her clicking heels retreating and once they were sure she was out of earshot they fell about laughing.


	4. Chapter 4

**Caution Children**

**Chapter Four**

Joyce Summers hadn't been expecting any company. Her youngest Dawn was out for the evening with her best friend Janice and wouldn't return until the following day. Her oldest Buffy was off at university and barely came home any more. She was sitting on her settee with a glass of wine and a weepy movie all set to relax for the evening when she heard the doorbell ring. She set down her glass with a sigh and got up to answer the door. She gasped in surprise as she saw Rupert Giles there. "Oh, Rupert!"

"I don't quite know how to tell you this," he began. He was wearing a nervous expression and that caused alarm bells to ring.

She frowned. "Is there something wrong? Is Buffy hurt?"

He shook his head. "She's not hurt but –" He trailed off.

She was getting frightened now. "But what?"

"Buffy is not injured or hurt in any way I assure you Joyce. Maybe you should just see for yourself?"

He moved away from the door and it was then she noticed a little boy. With blond hair and blue eyes he reminded her of someone. "Oh, he's just adorable. But what does this have to do with my Buffy?"

The boy's little face lit up at the compliment and he gave Joyce his best winning grin. "Hullo, Joyce."

Her mouth fell open. "Spike?" she asked.

A familiar looking little blonde haired girl stepped in front of him. "Hi Mom, it's nice that you noticed me!"

"B-B-Buffy?" What in God's name had happened her little girl?

Buffy was rolling her eyes dramatically as she pointed at Spike. "And Mom he's a disgusting vampire. He isn't adorable."

She felt faint now. She reached for the wall to steady herself as spots appeared in front of her eyes.

"Buffy, is that really you?"

Buffy raised her little face. "Uh- huh Mom it's me and I'm little again."

The poor woman was too confused to even respond. What on earth could have turned her daughter and a vampire into children? She turned to Rupert for an explanation. She had yet become coherent enough to form words, however the Watcher seem to understand her unspoken question.

He was polishing his glasses, as he was wont to do when anxious. "I'm afraid there was an accident. Somehow they got turned into children."

"I can see that," Joyce managed to say drily. "How?"

"I'm not quite sure," he confessed. "We're working on returning them to their usual selves of course."

She glared at him. "I should hope so."

"This was completely unforeseen. There were nothing we could do, but we think that a man by the name of Ethan Rayne might be behind it."

"Sorry," she said. "It's just a shock. I didn't mean to make it seem like I blamed you. I'm just confused."

"That's quite alright, Joyce. Initially when this happened they were more like themselves although they seem to regressing into more childlike behaviour now." As if to confirm the man's words Spike gave Buffy's hair a light tug and she responded by stamping on his foot. Joyce raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah –keep talking about us as if we're not here." Spike's tone was short tempered. "I might be a tad shorter, but I still have my vampire hearing." Her initial suspicion had been correct she surmised. The vampire was getting annoyed at being spoken about as if they really were children.

Buffy had crossed her arms across her chest and was nodding. "As much as I hate to admit it I agree with the bratpire."

"Oi!" He glared at Buffy and she stared right back.

"I was agreeing with you, dumb ass."

"You were calling me names, Blondie."

Rupert gave Joyce an apologetic smile. "We were wondering if you could look after them, because they are destroying the Magic Box. None of us have much experience with young children and to be frank, they have been running wild."

Spike scoffed. "You think that was bad, Watcher?"

Rupert ignored the little vampire. Joyce could readily imagine what mischief they could get up to, knowing how rambunctious her daughter was as a child. Add in a restless vampire child and no doubt, mayhem would ensue. Someone had to take this situation in hand and it looked like it was going to have to be her.

She sighed deeply and made a decision. "Buffy, go inside and play with William."

Both slayer and vampire protested - Buffy at being told to play and Spike at being called William. Joyce brooked no argument however. "Buffy, you will do as I say. And William, Spike is not a suitable name for a boy. In my house I will call you William. When you're fully grown again, I'll call you whatever you like."

Buffy stamped her foot in a huff, but grabbed Spike's arm all the same and dragged him inside.

Rupert raised his brows in surprise at Joyce's seemingly easy management of the situation.

Joyce sighed once more. "Wish me luck." A sound of broken glass came from inside. "I'm going to need it."

Giles gave her an apologetic smile. "Good luck, Joyce."

She watched him walk away. The shouts of angry children were drifting outside.

"I hate you, Spike!"

"I hate you more!"

These two were going to be the end of her. She knew she better get inside before the nosy neighbours would peak out their windows.

"Buffy, William, why are you making such a racket?"

There was a broken vase on the floor. Two guilty faces immediately gazed up at her. She knew when it came to children you had to start as you meant to go on no matter how adorable they looked. Otherwise they would run circles around you.

"I'm very disappointed in you both."

Buffy shuffled her feet a little. "Sorry Mom."

She looked at Spike and saw that his eyes looked suspiciously bright, but he met her gaze with bravado all the same. "I'm not sorry. Vampires are evil. I may be little, but I'm still bad."

She narrowed her eyes. "Well then, if you don't apologise you won't get any cocoa with marshmallows."

He bit his lip, but he recovered his resolve quickly. He crossed his arms and looked down at the ground. "I don't care."

"Fine," Joyce said. "Come along, Buffy, and let's get your treat." Buffy followed her excitedly into the kitchen. She set about making the cocoa, while her daughter sat on a stool, swinging her legs back and forth.

"Mom?"

"Yes, honey."

"Why does Spike have to stay here?"

She turned and smiled reassuringly. "You're both not yourselves and someone has to keep an eye on you both."

The little girl pouted. "Couldn't somebody else look after him?"

"Well apparently you both were so bad Mr Giles had to remove you from the Magic Box."

Buffy bowed her head in shame. "Sorry Mom. Spike makes me so angry."

"And you don't antagonise him?"

"I guess," she admitted with a sheepish grin.

Joyce finished making the cocoa. She made two mugs on the off chance Spike would apologise. They returned into the sitting room, where the boy was spread eagled on the sofa, shoes and all. He jumped up with what looked like a guilty expression. Joyce waited for the apology. Nothing came.

She waved the cup a little in his direction. "Well then, I'll just pour this down the sink."

She turned around to go back into kitchen, catching her daughter sticking out her tongue at him.

"Buffy, it's not nice to tease. Give me your mug too. Neither of you are getting a treat."

Both children spoke in unison. "Sorry." Spike's apology was so quiet she could barely make it out but it was a start. She handed Spike the mug and sat down beside him on the sofa, gesturing for Buffy to join them. Joyce decided she would turn on her weepy movie anyway and there was only a half-hearted protest by the vampire. The movie was almost over and the two had dozed off. Spike's head had fallen onto her lap and Buffy was nestled on her other side. She ran her fingers fondly across the top of her daughter's head. She was amused to see Buffy was eating her hair in her sleep. Oh my - she had forgotten Buffy used to do that. She smothered a laugh and turned to examine the vampire. He was sucking his thumb, which had to be the most adorable thing she had ever seen him do. Mr Big Bad Attitude sucking his thumb. For now though she was too comfortable to move and despite the abnormality of the situation Joyce thought it felt kind of nice. That was her last thought before she too started to drift off into slumber.

Joyce woke up a few hours later with a terrible crick in her neck from her awkward position on the sofa. Buffy and Spike were still fast asleep. She gazed in wonder at them thinking all the while about how bizarre this whole situation was. Before she knew about Buffy's secret double life, she had thought that the Summers' clan led a reasonably normal existence. She knew better now. It was scary in one way to know the danger her firstborn put herself into every night, yet she also knew without doubt how amazing Buffy was at being the slayer and she couldn't be prouder. She carefully extricated herself from the two tiny bodies. Neither awakened and she contemplated moving them. She could put Buffy in her own bed and leave Spike to sleep on the sofa. She picked Buffy up and carried her up the stairs. She took off her shoes and cardigan, and then placed her under the covers. Buffy was still fast asleep and Joyce kissed her lightly on the forehead as she tucked her in.

"Good night, Buffy," she whispered.

The woman went downstairs once more to check on her other charge. The vampire was lying where she left him. She really should get something to cover him up. She didn't know exactly what it was about Spike that always made her want to mother him. Even as a vampire there was something that made her want to look after him. It was ridiculous really seeing as he was meant to be a soulless monster. Yet he was so human in many ways. She went back upstairs and started rummaging in the airing cupboard for a blanket. She pulled out the first one she could lay her hands on and placed it over him.

He stirred for a moment. "Thanks, Mum," he mumbled sleepily. His eyes were closed and he said no more so she reckoned he must be talking in his sleep. She chuckled quietly. _What was it her Aunt Arlene used to say? Ah yes. Bless his little cotton socks._ When Spike was back to himself he was going to be mortified; she would make sure to remind him. As she went to turn off the lamp she took a first proper look at the blanket she had laid over him. It had a large picture of a sombre looking, darked haired, angel on the front. Actually to look at it now it reminded her of the vampire that broke her daughter's heart. Her lips twitched upward. _Whoops. Spike's not going to be happy when he wakes up to see that on his blanket._ She was about to leave the room when she thought better of it. Maybe it was a bit mean to leave him with that blanket after all. She went upstairs to the airing cupboard once more and fetched a plain blanket instead. Once she came downstairs and tried to take the angel blanket she discovered he had an iron grip on it. She tried to ply the blanket from his grasp but he held firm to it. She bit her lip to keep herself from laughing. _Well I did try._ She shook her head amused and went up the stairs once more to where her comfortable bed called after the strangest day she had ever had.

The following morning Joyce whistled quietly in the kitchen as she made breakfast. Neither of her two houseguests had gotten up yet. It was Sunday, so she had no work to attend. She would have to call Rupert later to find out if there was any development in the research and to ask him to arrange for someone to look after Buffy and Spike during the week while she was at work. The gallery was really busy these days and she couldn't afford to take more than one day off unless it was really necessary. There was a loud bang from the front door. Joyce winced knowing that Dawn was back. Nobody could bang a door like her Dawnie. Her confused daughter walked into the kitchen.

"Mom, why is there a little boy sleeping on the sofa?"

Joyce quirked her eyebrow. "No good morning Mom?"

Dawn responded in typical teenage fashion with a roll of her eyes. "Good morning, Mom. But can you can answer my question now?"

"That little boy is Spike," she said pointing the direction of the living room.

"No way! You're kidding me."

"Buffy and Spike have managed to get themselves turned into kids."

Dawn opened her mouth to as a question but Joyce raised her hand dismissively. "Before you ask we don't know."

Her daughter narrowed her eyes. "Are you really serious?"

"Absolutely!"

Dawn's face broke into a smile. "Oh – can I take pictures?"

Joyce nodded. "Take plenty of them."

The girl rubbed her hands together. "I'm never going to let Buffy live this down. How long is this going to last?"

Joyce looked at her gleeful expression. "We don't know how to switch them back to themselves. We don't know how long this is going to last."

The girl's expression fell at this. "Oh?"

Joyce patted her arm reassuringly. "It will be fine. I mean – Mr Giles and the gang are working on it."

Dawn cheered up at that. "Do I get to babysit? Oh please Mom tell me I can babysit Buffy. I'm the big sister now and she will have to do what I say."

"Dawn, there will be no teasing."

"Mom!"

Joyce shook her head. "You better behave young lady. Now are you going to help me prepare breakfast?"

Dawn sighed but started to help all the same. "Mom, did you have a visitor this morning?"

Joyce frowned. "No. Why would you say that?"

"There was this English dude parked outside our drive. He said good morning to me as he drove off. I thought it was odd but I forgot all about it when I saw Spike fast asleep."

The woman's mouth dropped open. "Ethan Rayne," she mumbled.

The teenager looked at her in confusion. "Mom, what's wrong?"

Joyce went over to the phone and dialled Rupert's private telephone number.

To be continued…


	5. Chapter 5

**Special thank you to Ginar369 for being a wonderful beta!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own, I just enjoy playing with these wonderful characters **

**Chapter Five**

The following morning Buffy woke up refreshed after a good night's sleep. When she opened her eyes she saw a bright flash and she heard a clicking sound.

She rubbed her eyes in an effort to see from clearly . "Huh?" She looked up to see a smirking Dawn smirking down at her with a camera in her hand. "Hi there, little Buffy! Aren't you just adorable?"

Buffy scowled. Of course her little sister was going to really enjoy this. "I may be littler right now, but I can still kick your ass."

Dawn was still smirking despite the threat. She put her head out the door calling down the stairs. "Mom! Mom! Buffy is being mean to me."

There was only a sigh from downstairs in response. Joyce hadn't risen to the bait. This time it was Buffy's turn to smirk. She had enough and sat up in her bed. "Get out of my room, Dawnie."

Her sister crossed her arms across her chest. "Fine. I don't want to hang out with you anyway."

Buffy reluctantly pulled herself out of bed and pushed her sister bodily from room. "Go and annoy Spike. With luck you'll both annoy each other to death."

Dawn tilted her head to the side in an uncanny imitation of the vampire. "Spike's already dead, Buffy."

Buffy clenched her little fists so tight her nails were cutting into the palms of her hands. "Yeah, well he could be deader."

Dawn raised her chin importantly and turned to walk down the stairs. As she looked over her shoulder, she said, "Giles is here by the way. You might want to get dressed?"

Buffy was happy to hear her watcher had come. _Maybe he had some news at last?_ She hurried to get herself washed and dressed with the sound of her sister's noisy footfalls on the stairs. It took her all of five minutes; there was much less of her to wash after all. Leaving her bedroom she could smell the lovely tantalising aroma of pancakes coming from the kitchen. When she walked in she could see Giles, Spike, Dawn and her Mom sitting at the table.

Joyce smiled brightly. "Good morning, sleepyhead."

"Good morning, Mom. Good morning, Giles."

Giles nodded in response. Buffy spared gave the other two annoying occupants a scathing look.

"Good morning to you too, Slayer." Spike waggled his eyebrows. "I see you got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning."

"It's okay." Dawn patted his arm. "Buffy's not a morning person."

She ignored them and sat at the table tearing into the plate of delicious pancakes set before her.

"Yummy," she mumbled between mouthfuls.

The rest of the table were watching her. Spike snorted. She glared at him and her stomach roiled when she realised what he had spread over his pancakes. He caught her look of disgust and he smacked his lips together. "Bloody pancakes. They're gorgeous, Joyce." He waved a piece of a pancake dripping with blood at Buffy. "Want to try some, Slayer?"

She scrunched up her nose. "A world of no!"

There was still one thing that never changed; Spike was still a pig. How much longer would she be stuck living in the same house as the formerly big bad and currently little bad? He was making a big show of eating his breakfast. Was there a creature on earth that could wind her up as much as Spike? She seriously doubted that. He was so unusual for a vampire. Angel never ate human food after all.

"Why are you even eating anyway?" She blurted the question out. "You're a vampire. "

He looked over at her. He had a smear of blood on the corner of his mouth. Dawn stifled a giggle and gestured to her mouth. He frowned and stuck his tongue out to lick it away. Buffy harrumphed. "Have you no manners?"

She decided it would be best to ignore him and she turned hopefully to Giles instead. "Please tell me you can get us back to normal soon."

He shook his head. "We can't seem to pinpoint what was used to change you. Of course, the only person who could tell us is the one who did the spell. However, we've searched everywhere for Ethan and we haven't found him yet, although your sister and mother tell me he was parked outside here this morning."

Both Buffy and Spike turned their full attention to the Watcher when he mentioned the last part.

Her wide eyes met Giles'. "What was he doing here?"

Spike muttered, "Watching his handiwork, I presume."

The watcher nodded. "If I had to hazard a guess, then I would concur with Spike."

The vampire shook his head. "You know some right pieces of work, Rupert."

"You being one of them," Giles said drily.

"Well, yeah," Spike agreed, with a smirk. He stuck his arms behind his head and tipped back his chair. _Spike is such a show off._ However, his attempt to be cool backfired and his chair toppled over backwards taking him with it. He got up smartly while everyone else recovered from fits of laughter.

"Yeah, very funny." He rolled his eyes. "I could have smashed it to pieces and dusted on the splinters."

It took the group a few moments to compose themselves. Buffy couldn't help giggling at the scowl on his face. Joyce interrupted her mirth, however, when she posed the question she had been thinking of since she got turned into Bitty Buffy. "So what do we do now?"

The man removed his glasses and started to polish them. "We continue to try and get to bottom of this. Ethan has turned up once. He just can't resist gloating, so I'm sure we'll get the opportunity to catch him."

She knew that was all that they could do, but somehow that didn't seem enough. She cast a glance at her younger sister and just hoped Glory wouldn't get wind of this turn of events.

Once the breakfast was over Giles said that he had to leave. Buffy was disappointed he had to go so soon even though she knew the reason was to try and solve this case for them. Somehow with Giles around it seemed like she was still involved. It was a disorienting experience for her to be side-lined and not able to fight her own battles.

Joyce stood up giving a meaningful look at her and Giles. "Buffy, will you walk Giles out? Dawn, can you get the dishes and William, can you get the cutlery?"

Dawn looked confused. "Who is William?"

Buffy just had to see this and stifled a giggle.

Spike was glaring at Joyce's retreating back. "She means me, Little Bit. My real name's William."

"Oh William!" Dawn snorted with laughter. "And by the way calling me Little Bit now is kind of like the pot calling the kettle black. You're way littler than me?"

Buffy thought it was fun to watch the two banes of her existence annoy each other instead of her for once. Giles seemed to be amused too if the faint smile on his face was anything to go by.

Spike grabbed the cutlery in a grumpy fashion. "Not for long."

Dawn was piling the dishes. "You hope, William."

"Oy, you don't get to call me that."

"Mom does."

"Joyce is a lady and you're just a mouthy brat."

There was the compliment about Joyce again. Buffy wondered what it was with Spike and sucking up to her mother. He didn't even complain about being asked to help with the chores. _Weird._

Joyce turned back from the sink and sighed impatiently. "Will you two hurry on and stop bickering?"

Giles coughed to catch Buffy's attention away from the squabbling Dawn and Spike. She went out of the kitchen and through the sitting room. She followed him out to his car parked in the driveway. He opened the door of his car and leaned against the bonnet. "How are you feeling?"

She was feeling worried and terrified that she wouldn't get her life back. What if she had to remain a kid and go through adolescence again? Instead of saying all that she settled for the one question. "Giles, what if don't get big again?"

"That's not going to happen, Buffy. We'll figure this out one way or another."

"When we find him and I get back to being normal size Buffy can I hit him?"

He snorted. "I daresay you will have to get in line."

A few hours later, Buffy sat cross-legged on the floor in front of the television. What she really wanted to do was go outside and stretch her legs. The problem was there was a flammable vampire that her mother had agreed to babysit. _Stupid Spike._ If she was being entirely truthful she would have to admit that he wasn't the only reason they were stuck indoors on a lovely day. They were supposedly meant to avoid being noticed and drawing attention to themselves, so she couldn't even go out of the house. Still, if they didn't have Spike they could go out for the day somewhere nobody would know them. _Yeah - this is all Spike's fault._ Their sitting room was dark with the curtains pulled to keep out the sunlight. Joyce was sitting in the armchair reading a book.

Spike was pacing up and down. "I'm bored," he complained.

"And you're giving me a headache, " Joyce admonished him. "Can't you keep still? Could you watch a video or something?"

He looked at Buffy and she shrugged. She pulled herself up from her seated position.

"Come on," she said. "Let's see if we can agree on something for once."

The two went through various different video cassettes before settling on The Goonies. Spike had discarded Bambi, while she had vetoed any war films he came across. She sat herself on the floor again leaning up against the sofa.

He sprawled out on the sofa behind her. "Why are you sitting on the floor? I'm not knocking it. I'm just wondering."

She shrugged her shoulders in response. "I like it here. Dawnie and I used to sit on the floor munching popcorn when we could bear to be in the same room without fighting." That reminded her.

She raised pleading eyes in the direction of her mother. "Mom, can we have popcorn?"

"Can I have a mug of blood too, Joyce?"

Joyce sighed deeply and put down her book. She got up and disappeared into the kitchen.

Buffy looked at Spike incredulously. "You want blood with popcorn."

"Yeah- I like dipping the popcorn into the blood."

"Eugh Spike!" She scrunched up her face. "You're really not like other vampires are you?"

He smiled. "What can I say, pet? I'm special."

Later that night Buffy was tossing and turning. She couldn't seem to get to sleep. The sound of the door creaking open made her jump up suddenly. In the darkness she could make out a small figure. "Spike?"

"Hey Slayer."

"What are you doing in my room?"

"I'm bored and I feel like going out. I could hear you moving about all restless up here and I figured you might fancy a stroll."

She glared at him. "Fancy a stroll? Are you insane as well as little now?"

"Ah come on, Slayer. I'm getting all stir crazy being cooped up here."

She pretended to not be tempted by the idea. He really was a bad influence on her. _Pain in the ass vampire._ When she didn't answer he moved closer and whispered in her ear. "We're creatures of the night, Slayer. Come on. You know you want to."

She thought about it for a moment before giving in. "Okay, give me a few minutes to get dressed. We better be back before Mom misses us though."

A few minutes later they had climbed quietly out of her window and down the tree. She felt giddy at the thought of running through the neighbourhood in the dark. They could look after themselves. They may be smaller, but they were still strong. As they passed a playground, she looked longingly at the swing. Spike caught the look. "Fancy letting me push you around for once?"

She stuck out her tongue at him. "Ha, ha!"

He shrugged. "Sure why not? As long as you never tell anyone old Spike took you to the playground to sit on the swings."

She looked at him disbelievingly.

"Bloody hell! Do I have to spell it out? I want to go on the swings too."

"Oh!"

He stuck out his lip in a pout. "I sodding hate this being a rugrat thing."

"Me too."

For once they agreed on something. They stood there in silence for a few moments.

Eventually Spike spoke again. He had a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Race you. I bet I can swing higher than you."

"No way."

The two took off at speed. Spike managed to beat her to the swings much to her chagrin.

"You cheated," she protested though she knew it was a lie.

A half an hour later, Buffy was starting to get cold. She wasn't anxious to go home just yet even though she was shivering.

Spike jumped off his swing. "Why don't we go by my crypt?"

Buffy pursed her lips. "I don't know. Maybe we should go back."

It was clear from her tone that she didn't really want to.

His lips twitched upward. "I have Cheetos from the last time Clem called over."

She bit her lip. "Okay then, but just for a small while."

"Don't worry we have to back before dawn if I don't want to be dust."

He started walking off and was soon swallowed by the darkness. Her eyesight was not as good as his in the dark. She started to run to catch up. It was totally unfair that not only did vampires have excellent night vision and supernatural sense of smell. Why couldn't slayers be given the same? Well she would be happy with just the night vision; she could do without all the extra smells that being a vamp would give her. She felt a familiar tickling at the back of her neck. _Spike or at least I hope it's him and not a "real" vampire._

"Spike," she called hesitantly.

"Buffy!"

She turned around suddenly to the direction the voice came from but he wasn't there.

"Come out," she demanded.

He appeared before her wearing a very smug expression. "No need to get your knickers in a twist, pet. I've not gone anywhere."

He tugged her hair lightly. Her response was to punch him on the nose.

"Hey!" He held his hand to his nose. "Don't you think that was an overreaction?"

"No," she said sweetly. "You're annoying and you're lucky I don't have a stake to dust you."

He didn't respond. Instead, he continued in the direction of the cemetery and a few moments later they arrived at his home. They looked around carefully to make sure nobody was about. Spike didn't seem to sense any unwanted guest so she flung the crypt door open.

"Be quiet, Slayer," he hissed. "You'll attract the nastys and don't want them knowing our business."

Spike threw himself down on his armchair. Buffy was feeling curious as walked around Spike's crypt. She was surprised to see various books strewn about the place and that reminded her of the offence he took at her labelling him stupid. This realization made her feel uncomfortable but not enough to make her apologise. That was why she was relieved when she saw the video cassette. "Oh my god, you own the Adams Family!" She snorted with laughter. "I love this movie, but I can't believe you own it."

He looked away from the tv screen for a moment. "Don't own it. I stole it."

She dissolved into fits of the giggles. "Oh Spike, that's even worse!"

He sighed. "You're right and I didn't even have the excuse of this spell for that."

She didn't know what to say to that. He seemed tired as if he was giving in to something.

"Let's make a pact, pet. What happens when we're like this stays between us. Neither of us are in our right minds and both of us have been doing things we know we'd rather forget when we're back to being us."

That made a lot sense even if it was Spike saying it and she nodded. "Let's shake on it."

He spat on his left hand and extended it.

"Ugh Spike, I'm not shaking that. Give me your other hand."

He extended his right hand instead.

She waved her little finger. "Let's pinky swear."

He raised his brow, but nodded and her finger in his. "I pinky swear."

She smiled sheepishly. "Can we watch the movie?"

"Right then, give me that cassette. Just remember that this is one of the things we don't ever mention. Not to Glinda, Red, the Watcher, Harris or his bird."

She smiled and settled down to watch the movie feeling happier that they would keep the most embarrassing parts of the experience to themselves. About half way through the movie she felt her eyelids droop despite herself and her last thought before she fell asleep was that she really should wake Spike up and go home.


	6. Chapter 6

**Caution Children**

_Thanks again to the marvellous Ginar369 for the beta. _

_This chapter is dedicated to Spike's Mate for all the wonderful reviews. Thanks so much to eveyone who reviewed and favourited my little story._

**Chapter Six**

Giles was awoken from his slumber by a persistent ringing sound. He grabbed the phone from the dresser. "Hello," he mumbled sleepily, as he heard the familiar voice of Joyce from the other end of the phone line.

"Rupert!" Her voice was shrill with worry. "I can't find Buffy and Spike. When I woke up this morning they were gone."

He sat up suddenly awake. "Good lord. I'll drop by the Magic Box to see if they are there and then I'll be right over."

Those two idiots would be the death of him. Most likely they had decided to go wandering in the dark again. Considering their penchant for getting themselves into trouble in normal circumstances, this did not bode well. He pulled on his clothes so quickly he didn't realise he had his sweater on the wrong way for a couple of moments. _Bugger it. _He grabbed his car keys and left his house.

Giles arrived at the Magic Box in a record time. He had never driven so fast around Sunnydale. Luckily, the town was quiet as it was still early in the morning. He checked the shop for the presence of little intruders and finding none, he gathered the ingredients to a locater spell just in case. He dumped them in the back seat of his car and he drove to Revello Drive, where he was met by a frantic Joyce. She ran out to meet him at his car as he pulled into the driveway. She looked unlike her usual well groomed self with unkempt hair.

She peered in the window at him. "I'll kill them Rupert when I get my hands on them. I swear I will."

He could sympathise. He was feeling the exact same way.

"Where are they Giles? They're so little and not themselves at all."

Giles mentally went over the places that they could be and the most likely one came to mind. "Have you checked Spike's crypt yet?"

She smacked her hand to her head. "Of course – I wasn't thinking straight."

"That's natural, Joyce." He gestured to the seat beside him. "Hop in, and we'll go look in the cemetery."

She opened the door, before she paused suddenly. "Hang on. There's sunlight. Spike needs his blanket."

She ran inside leaving Giles worried in the car. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel trying to think of other places that the duo could be should they not find them in Spike's home. A few moments later she came out with a bundle, which he assumed must be the aforementioned blanket. He had been expecting the rather ratty looking one that Spike normally used to carry around when he was doing his daylight dashes. Of course, Joyce would insist on something cleaner; not that germs were really an issue for a vampire.

She opened the passenger door and sat down alongside him putting on her seat belt. "Dawn will stay at house in case they come back."

Giles took one glance back the house where Dawn, looking as anxious as her mother, stood at the door in her pyjamas. He patted Joyce's arm reassuringly. He hoped that was where they were, because if it was anywhere else then chances were they were in big trouble. He pulled up outside Restfield cemetery, and the two took off towards the vampire's crypt. As they neared their destination, Giles heard squeaky voices and he pulled Joyce behind him and they ducked down behind one of the mouldering crypts, that Sunnydale seemed to have so many of. They stood as silently as possible and gazed around the corner. It turned out the squeaky voice belonged to one of the strangest beings Giles had ever seen. There were two of them. There were small in stature and humanoid in shape. However, they looked decidedly inhuman in appearance. Their eyes were beady and their skin was scabby. They two wore brown robes and appeared to be deep in discussion. The most worrying thing was that they appeared to coming from the direction of Spike's crypt. He felt his heart stop at this realization. Joyce gasped at side most likely coming to same conclusion. On the up side neither of the two little creatures looked terribly pleased.

"There is no sign of the vampire," one lamented with a sigh. "Glorificus will be very displeased."

The other shook his head. "The warlock says that the vampire and the slayer have become children. Do you think he dares lie to Glorificus?"

"Of course not," the first answered hastily.

"I should hope not, Dreg. Our mistress would be most angry with you."

Giles shared a look with Joyce, although both froze when they heard the next part of the conversation.

Dreg quickly attempted to change the subject. "Should we go directly to the Slayer's house?"

The other replied, "No, the most glorious one told us to go to the crypt for a reason. We should report to her first."

Dreg nodded and the two strange creatures continued on their way.

"Oh god." She was close to tears. "If they aren't at the crypt, then where are they, Rupert?"

His mind was running a mile a minute. Ethan was somehow connected with the hell god. _Oh this was not good at all. _He tried to remain calm.

He removed his glasses and pinched his nose. "Let's double check first before we panic and if they're not there then we can do a locater spell. I have the supplies in my car from the Magic Box. We'll call Willow and Tara and they can go and look after Dawn."

They walked cautiously to the crypt making sure the creatures were well out of sight. Giles walked in Spike's home first in case there were any unwelcome guests inside. He gestured for Joyce to follow him. A trap door in the floor suddenly opened and there were the two little monsters standing right in front of him.

"Hullo, Rupert. Hullo Joyce." Spike was wearing his customary smirk, either unaware or more likely uncaring of all the fuss their disappearance had caused.

Buffy giggled, but she had the decency to look a little sheepish at least. "Hi Mom, Giles!" She bit her lip anxiously as she looked up in her mother's direction. "There were these scabby hobbit things here. We had to hide downstairs."

Both Joyce and Giles were wearing equally foreboding glares. Buffy gulped and Spike started scuffing his shoes off the ground.

Giles suspected Buffy was wearing the most contrite expression she could muster. Her eyes were wide and her lip was trembling. "We fell asleep, Mom. We meant to be back before you even noticed."

Giles smiled grimly and looked over at Joyce, who burst in to relived tears and grabbed hold of her daughter and the vampire enveloping them both into a hug. If the situation hadn't been so dire, he might have laughed at the deer in the headlight expression Spike wore at the sudden hug. He coughed after giving them a few moments.

Joyce pulled away wiping her eyes. "Don't you ever do that to me again!"

Her warning was not only for her own child but also the troublesome vampire. This time the vampire was wearing a much more repentant expression. It seemed even soulless monsters could be swayed by Joyce's generous and loving nature.

"We need to get back to Dawn and call in the rest of the gang. It seems that this Glorificus and her minions are trying to abduct one or both of you. We need Willow and Tara to see if they can do some sort of spell to keep them out of Revello Drive and we can't risk leaving you two unaccompanied again."

Spike scoffed. "We may be smaller in size, but we still have our strength. We're not completely helpless. And what's this woman want with us anyway?"

Buffy answered. "She wants to find out about her key."

Spike raised his eyebrow. "I know sod all about a key, but I betting you all do. Care to enlighten a bloke?"

Giles decided to put his foot down right away. He couldn't trust Spike to keep the secret. He may have some unfortunate influence on Summers' women, but he wasn't about to be swayed by his angelic appearance.

"No, you don't need to know." Giles looked at Joyce and Buffy warningly. "And Spike, I mean it about not leaving unaccompanied. If you were so confident about being able to handle yourselves then you wouldn't have been hiding would you?"

Of course the vampire had no answer for that. Giles supressed a superior smile as Spike glared at him. Joyce looked at him with a disapproving expression. No doubt she felt he was being too hard on the vampire, but Spike was as annoying child sized as he was adult size, and he had a gift for making the most even tempered lose their cool.

"Let's go," Joyce said, tossing the blanket at Spike, who grabbed it eagerly.

"Oh you brought my blankie ̶ I mean my blanket."

This time Giles couldn't prevent his lip from twitching. There were some things you never thought you would hear a master vampire say, even if it was Spike. Buffy didn't even try to supress her giggles at his slip. If vampires could blush Giles was sure that was exactly what Spike would be doing now.

Buffy was looking curiously at the blanket. "What's that on the blanket?" She tried to grab it from him.

He held it away from her. "It's none of your business, Slayer."

Despite his best efforts, she managed to get a good look at the blanket before Spike could stop her. "Oh my gosh. Is that an angel?"

"No, it isn't." She raised an eyebrow and he sighed. "Okay it is. Just don't make a deal of it. I like it because it's warm and furry not because of the picture."

She bit her lip thoughtfully. "I think it looks like Angel." She started to giggle again. "Oh is that why you like it? Ooh Spikey is Angel your comfort blanket?"

Spike glared at her. "Shut up, slayer!"

Try as he might Giles couldn't hold in his laughter any longer. This was too much; the idea of Spike cuddling a blanket with Angel on it.

Joyce looked at both Buffy and Giles reproachfully. "Buffy stop teasing William, and Giles stop laughing." She patted Spike on the shoulder. "Come on, **Dawn **will be worried."

It was this emphasis on Dawn's name that brought Buffy and Giles to their senses. The vampire looked at them suspiciously. The watcher worried at that; Spike had always been a good reader of people and intentions. If he had to guess at what was going on under that mop of hair, he would bet that Spike's brain was still scrabbling for connections trying to figure out what this key was.

A few hours later, Giles was alone in Revello Drive with Buffy and Spike. Joyce had to leave the house and he was left with the task of watching the little monsters. Willow and Tara had been and had put a spell on the house to prevent anybody that wasn't invited entering. He would have preferred take Spike and Buffy to the Magic Box, he had a lot of books he wanted to peruse. However, the only spell that was suitable to keep out a hell god and her minions would also keep out his customers so he opted to stay at Revello. There was no way he would trust his own home to the bickering children. In the hour since Joyce had left they had managed to break two vases and a picture frame. Giles had to get his kicks where he could and he took great joy in telling the two again that they needed a babysitter now that they couldn't be trusted not to run off. They had been complaining about not being left to their own devices.

Spike was apoplectic with anger. "Oi, I object to the use of that word. We don't need a **babysitter**." He practically spat the word babysitter.

Buffy was resigned to their fate, but it didn't mean she was going to accept it without complaint. "This is a total over reaction, Giles. Can I please go outside?"

"No," he said shaking his head. "And you know why."

She threw herself on the sofa in a huff. "I'm so bored."

Dawn popped her head in the door of the sitting room where all three sat unhappily. "Anybody want to play a game of cards?"

"No!" Giles and Buffy answered in unison.

Spike got up. "Well it beats sitting around with this miserable lot. Lead the way, Bit."

Dawn grinned in response. "In the kitchen, Bitty Vampire."

He sighed dramatically as he followed. "Can't anybody give me a little respect?"

Giles snorted at that. He figured now was as good a time as any to read through the books he did manage to bring with him. They were having no luck in isolating the spell that had been used. It seemed their best bet in figuring this out lay with finding Ethan. The problem was their discovery today meant that the possibility of doing so was even more remote. With Glory on his side, he would surely be impossible to find. What puzzled him was what Ethan could possibly be getting from this. His old friend always enjoyed causing a stir; helping a hell god was not really his usual pattern. Lost in thought Giles hardly noticed Buffy clamber up on the seat beside him. "Can I just sit here beside you?"

"Of course, Buffy." He smiled down at her and picked up a book.

He had only managed half a page when Buffy interrupted him. "Giles, what if we can't fix this and we have to stay little?" Her tone was plaintive and he felt his heart constrict at the fear in her voice.

"We will fix this." He spoke firmly. "Don't you worry."

"D'ya promise?"

"I promise, my dear." He ruffled her hair. She was closest he ever had to a child and it really hurt to see her in pain. She smiled up at him, satisfied, and he turned back to his book.

"Can I see?" Buffy peered into the book as well. Over the next five minutes she peppered him with questions regarding the book before going quiet. She had never shown as much interest in books as her older self. She hadn't spoken a word for a few minutes when he noticed she had fallen asleep, her head on his lap. He smiled fondly at her and was soon engrossed in his reading again.

After an hour's reading and no luck, Giles got up, careful not to wake up Buffy, and went into the kitchen. He put the kettle on to make himself a cup of what the Americans called tea. Dawn and Spike had abandoned their card game and were playing a game of monopoly instead.

"You gave up on cards, I see."

"Nibblet didn't much like being beaten."

Dawn narrowed her eyes. "Only because you cheat!"

"I don't have to cheat," he scoffed.

She rolled her eyes and turned to Giles instead. "Janice will be here in half an hour."

He nodded as he poured out his tea. "Let me know when you are leaving." Joyce had told him Dawn was to be going to the cinema with her friend that evening. That meant that he would be left alone with the two. When he returned to his books, he found that Buffy was after waking up.

He chuckled as she rubbed her eyes. "It's your fault you know."

Giles was perplexed by her words.

"I don't normally sleep during the day," she said, with a mischievous grin. "It was your boring books that made me sleepy."

She jumped off the seat and ran in the direction of the kitchen. He shook his head thinking _despairingly_ of how the gang would cope if he wasn't there to do the research. After Dawn left with her friend, Spike and Buffy had settled down to watch the television. Giles struggled with his reading as the words began to blur. _It wouldn't matter if he rested his eyes for a moment would it?_

To be continued…


	7. Chapter 7

**Caution Children**

**A big shout out to all who have been reading and reviewing. Thanks also to Ginar369 for being a great beta.**

**Chapter Seven**

Buffy and Spike were sitting on the floor of the Summers' living room engrossed in a cartoon when they heard a loud snore. Buffy looked over at her Watcher. He was still fast asleep, his head tilted back against the armchair and a book open on his lap. He was going to have a crick in his neck when he woke. She knew the right thing to do would be to wake him. They could shout in his ear or dump water all over him. "Let's wake him up!"

"No," Spike protested. He pointed at a skipping rope she had been playing with earlier and a mischievous grin appeared on his face. "What do you think the Watcher would say if he woke up all tied up? That's got to be more entertaining than giving him a rude awakening."

"We shouldn't," she said, but she was far from convinced. _Damn Spike for tempting me._ She felt her lip twitching despite herself. _It would be funny._

He waggled his eyebrows. "Come on, Slayer. We can say it was an uncontrollable childish urge."

She laughed. "Okay, but it was all your idea." She went over to grab the jump rope from the floor. "I get to do the tying."

"That's not fair," he complained. "I came up with the idea."

She stuck out her tongue throwing the rope at him. She watched as he went over to the sleeping Watcher and attempted to tie the jump rope around his body as tightly as he could. She wondered what they could do next. As Giles was tied up they might as well make the most of their freedom. The one thing she really wanted to do was to go outside. The only problem was that she could see through the gap in the curtains that the sun was shining outside.

She looked longingly at the front door. "I'm bored." She pouted a little. "I want to go outside."

Spike looked over from his task. "I don't much fancy being all fried. The sun's still up, Slayer."

She smirked. "I could leave you behind."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Try me! Besides you could always take "Angel blankie" along. You never let the sun stop you before."

He raised his eyes to the ceiling in exasperation. "There's a big difference between making a dash for shelter than just going out for a wander. And stop calling my blanket that."

"Spoil sport!" She shook her head. "You're not very evil anymore are you? I guess the chip finally broke you."

"I am so. Take that back. I'm still bloody evil."

She smiled smugly. He was so easy to wind up. She got up from her place on the floor and left him muttering expletives as how evil he was. Giles had left a pile of books on the table in front of them. One of the book titles caught her eye: "Hex or not to hex". It sounded like something out of Harry Potter. Maybe she could find a spell to put on Spike to stop him being so annoying or perhaps one for her sister to prevent her from playing with that stupid camera? Buffy knew she was going to be embarrassed when she turned back to her normal self. And thanks to her sister, there would be a lot of humiliating photos. Dawn would probably blackmail her way out of doing any chores for the rest of her life. Still, at least Spike would be just as embarrassed and probably even more so. The infuriating vampire was still stomping about the room claiming he was all sorts of evil.

She raised a finger to her lips. "Be quiet or you'll wake him!"

He glared at her and crossed his arms across his chest. "You wanted to wake him a few minutes ago." The sight of the large leather bound book in her arms made him raise a brow curiously. "Are you looking at a book, Slayer?" He looked at her incredulously.

"Uh huh." She waved the book at him. "This is how bored I am. I'm Book Buffy."

She started rifling through the pages of the book. It was full of funny looking pictures and big words. She had looked through half of the pages when an idea struck her.

"Oooh!" She looked at the vampire with a devious grin on her face.

Spike wasn't even listening and was still muttering under his breath. "I'll show her how evil I am."

"Are you still going on about that?"

He scowled at her. "You insulted me."

She rolled her eyes. "You're so evil, Spike," she said in the most saccharine tone she could muster. "Can you stop sulking now? I just agreed with you."

She couldn't resist muttering under her breath though. "Loser."

"Oy. I heard that!" He narrowed his eyes. "You're a bloody – a bloody infuriating chit."

She had enough and shoved the book in his face. "Look. Is this evil enough for to get your attention? Or are you a Mr Goody Two Shoes Vampire now?"

"Am not," he hissed, grabbing the book from her. She watched as the pissed expression on his face turned into a big grin. "Well, Miss Prim and Proper has a very naughty plan."

"Miss Prim and Proper?" She frowned. "Spike, I'm badder than you."

"You wish."

Before he could start another rant about how he was the Big Bad, she decided to turn the conversation back to her plan. "So, d'ya think we should give Giles rabbit ears?"

Spike laughed. "I'm in if you can manage it."

She attempted an exaggerated English accent. "Oh good lord, what floppy ears I have?"

He had a pained expression. "You slay the English language, pet. Please don't murder the English accent as well. That accent had to be worse than Dick Van Dyke's attempt at being a cockney."

She shrugged. "I can't help it if you Brits can't talk properly."

The two just glared at one another. It seemed no matter how much time they spent together that they still couldn't stop fighting. They jumped suddenly when they heard a snore. A quick check confirmed the watcher was still sleeping.

She sighed. "Let's just do this before he wakes up."

He raised a brow. "Sorry to burst your bubble, but do you really think you'll be able to pull it off. I know you're super girl and all, but you're no witch."

She raised her head indignantly. "I've done spells before and they've turned out just fine."

"Like what?"

"That's how I found out about Dawn." She put her hand to her mouth in horror. She hadn't meant to tell him anything.

He gave her a calculating gaze. "What about the Bit?"

"Nothing." She tried to sound nonchalant. "It's none of your business."

"I don't get why I'm being kept in the dark. I like Nibblet. I wouldn't want any nasty getting a bite out of her."

She ignored the fact he sounded genuinely hurt and decided to rely on sarcasm instead. "Referring to her as food is really reassuring."

"I'm vampire. I don't pretend I'm human like Angel."

"Drop it. I'm not going to tell you anything."

"Fine!"

She looked at the book disregarding the evil looks he was giving her. She read the incantation and sounded out the unfamiliar words carefully. She must have done something right though as Giles' ears began to change shape before them extending into long rabbit ears. Spike's mouth flew open and Buffy burst into laughter rolling about the floor. The watcher started to stir. It wasn't apparent whether this was as a result of the magic or simply the noise of the slayer's exuberance.

"What's going on?" Giles muttered sleepily. He attempted to get up before he realised he was tied to the chair. His attempt to get up caused his chair to overturn and it fell backwards to the floor.

"Good lord!" The two laughed as they watched the struggling man on the floor.

A chuckling Spike leaned over to Buffy and whispered. "You think Giles would be more angry at being all tied up or been given bunny ears?" He winked conspiratorially. "I'm betting on the ears."

"Untie me you idiots."

"You'll have to ask very nicely, Rupes."

Giles rounded on him. "I'm betting this was your idea."

"The tying you up was – yeah. I can't take credit for the ears."

"Ears?" The question came out shrilly. "What on earth do you mean about ears?"

Buffy laughed nervously. "We gave you bunny ears."

Before Giles got a chance to say anymore she was saved by a bang from the letterbox. All three heads turned to see a pretty, round ball on the floor by the door. It looked like a giant, green marble. Buffy felt drawn to it somehow and she reached for it. "What is that?"

She picked it up just as Spike came up behind her. "I don't think that's a good idea."

She was mesmerised by the way the light reflected in it.

"What does this bauble do then?"

"Nothing," she said. "It's just pretty." She dropped it to the ground and turned back to Giles.

"Are you that's all it is?" Giles looked concernedly at her. "It did come in the letter box after all."

She shrugged. "Probably a kid doing a prank."

Giles took one last look at the ball which still was lying there harmlessly and turned his energies to his binding again. Spike seemed to be enjoying the spectacle and Giles glared at him. "Let me free you bleached menace."

"Say please, Rupert. As me old Mum used to say "mind your p's and q's"."

When Buffy giggled, both Giles and Spike turned to her.

Spike smirked. "I think Rupert needs to work to get himself free. What do you think Slayer?"

Giles looked completely furious. "Buffy!"

Never before had her Watcher looked so foreboding to her. She gulped. She was in such trouble.

Spike shook his head. "Come on, Buffy. In for a penny, in for a pound."

It took her a moment to translate his English into his actual English. _Why it was the English couldn't speak English properly?_

"I'll free you if you can tell us an entertaining story about your days as a Watcher in training."

"A story?" Spike scoffed. "We're not children."

Giles snorted loudly.

She rolled her eyes. "As much as it pains me to admit it, we kinda are."

Spike looked down at his small hand and shrugged. "Couldn't you just have pretended we have some dignity left, Slayer?"

"Enough!" Giles glared at them. "You can't be serious. I'm the adult here and you two are the children and should do exactly what I say. LET ME OUT OF THESE BLOODY ROPES!"

_Oh Mom's gonna be so mad, but the shade of red Giles is turning is priceless. He wants me to behave like a child then I'm going to give him a child._

She winked at Spike. "In for a penny, in for a pound."

She giggled as she began to stamp her foot. "We want a story!"

The vampire soon caught on and started stamping as well.

"We want a story!" they chanted. "Story! Story! Story!"

Giles still struggled with the ropes to no avail and after five minutes of chants and giggles he relented. "Fine. You can have your damn story."

Spike gave a mock gap of surprise. "You shouldn't curse in front of the poor easily corruptible kids."

Buffy went behind Giles and put his chair upright again. She plonked down on the floor in front of him pulling Spike down with her. "You can't stand for a story."

"Is that so?" He chuckled. "It's been a long time since anyone told me a story."

Giles coughed grumpily. Buffy was determined to enjoy this for as long as she could.

She looked at him expectantly. "We're ready now."

"Well there was this one time that a group of us were sent to kill a Pyroste demon."

"Huh? A pirate demon?"

"No, Slayer. A Pyroste demon. You couldn't imagine what they would look like."

"Hey! I do too have an imagination." She flinched inwardly realising how childish she sounded.

"I never said you didn't have an imagination."

Giles sighed at the bickering duo. "I thought I was supposed to be telling the story."

Spike either didn't hear Giles or just chose to ignore him. "They're big green fellas."

"Like the Incredible Hulk?"

"No not like the sodding Hulk. They're much bigger. If you want a contemporary reference think Hagrid's giant dog Fluffy."

"You read Harry Potter?"

Buffy glanced at Giles expecting to see an equally incredulous look on his face. Instead, he was wearing a most peculiar expression as if he was terrified by the revelation.

"Stop!"

Buffy ignored him and turned back to Spike who was making excuses for himself. "It gets boring when you can't leave the sodding house especially at night. Anyway the big blokes have huge teeth and long claws."

Giles spoke again,"Stop."

Spike stopped talking immediately and they could hear a low growling sound came from behind them. Spike whirled around and pointed behind her. "What the bloody hell is that?"

"That's the monster you two have bloody well managed to conjure."

Buffy turned around to see a big green dog like creature with three very angry looking heads. It looked to be about eight feet high. Drool was coming out of its enormous mouths and its huge teeth were bared. It looked strangely like the Hulk's vicious dog times three. It surely wasn't a coincidence that it looked like what Spike had been talking about. "Is that a Pyroste demon?"

Spike looked at her like she was the one with the three heads. "No, Slayer. I don't know what it is, but I wager it came out of the bauble that came out the door. Some sort of shape shifter."

"Indeed," muttered a shaking Giles.

Spike bounced on his feet look excited at the prospect. "I'll distract it, Slayer, and you can't stamp on the damn bauble. If that doesn't work then it will take the both of us to kill it."

He took a running jump at the creature jumping onto its back causing it to stumble about the sitting room knocking things as it moved. Buffy didn't dare delay any longer and she whirled round looking for the evil marble. She spotted it, where it had rolled under the table. She could see it pulsing and smoking. _Definitely the cause of the bad in the room._ Buffy crawled under the table and grabbed the ball. It felt hot to the touch and she dropped it on the floor in surprise. She stamped on it as hard as she could and it broke into pieces. She turned to see Spike falling through the air as the demon disintegrated before their very eyes. She went over to her Watcher and untied him. He didn't say a word although he opened and closed his mouth rather like a fish. She sighed in relief and plopped down on the sofa where Spike had landed in a heap. This sense of relief didn't last too long as Giles finally found his voice. "You foolish children! There are people out to get you and instead of keeping out of trouble you court it."

Neither Buffy nor Spike protested for once at being referred to as child. They knew Giles was right and they squirmed uncomfortably. They could see he was nowhere near finished letting off steam and they huddled closer on the sofa.

"Back in my day I would have been spanked had I done something so reckless."

They flinched, however they didn't say a word.

"Don't worry - I wouldn't do something as crass as that." He had a glint in his eye that Buffy didn't like. "I'm going to do something much worse. I hoped it wouldn't come to this, but I have to call in Angel for help."

"No!" Spike and Buffy were united in their horror at this announcement.

"I don't want him here," the vampire said angrily.

Buffy's eyes started to tear up. "I don't want him to see me like this!" She looked pleadingly at Giles. "Please. I promise I won't do any more silly things."

Giles expression seemed to be softening a little. She'd forgotten how good she was at getting what she wanted when she used the waterworks. She hadn't relied on tears since she was really little after all.

"Spike will be good too." She elbowed him in the ribs. "Won't you?"

"No - I won't." He paused a moment as his mouth caught up with his brain. He frowned. "I – uh- won't be intentionally evil."

Buffy tried hard to supress a giggle at that pronouncement. Somehow, she managed to keep her face neutral.

Giles rubbed his forehead wearily. "I won't give in to your wheedling and I suspect Joyce will agree with me. We need help and as much as it pains me to admit it Angel's people may have access to resources we may not."

Buffy met Spike's eyes which were equally unhappy. She knew Giles had his mind made up and there was nothing she could do to change it. Giles had turned his back to them and was examining the remains of the orb. "Where did you come from?"

Spike spoke her mind before she could. "It must be your old pal Ethan."

It seemed Ethan Rayne hadn't given up trying to cause mischief. They knew he was working with Glory though. However, this didn't seem like her style. Still when you're desperate you would try anything. If nothing else she must be desperate if she was allying herself with Ethan Rayne.

Giles reached for his glasses, which had slipped off his nose while he was sleeping, and that when he remembered the oddly bunny ears. He rushed over to the mirror over the fireplace and caught his reflection. "Bloody hell! Can things possibly get any worse?"

Spike winked at her "It seems the slayer's got a gift for the magicks as well as Red. Surely that's one of the signs of the apocalypse."

Buffy whacked Spike hard on the arm and turned to Giles smiling sheepishly. "If it's any consolation you look cute."

Her watcher's response was a glare.

Giles was true to his word and the whole sorry tale was relayed to Joyce much to Buffy's chagrin. The disappointed look her mother gave her wasn't eased in the slightest by her excuses that her childish urges were too much to overcome. Spike's excuse didn't wash with Joyce. The next night Buffy and Spike were uncharacteristically quiet as they sat once more side by side on the sofa once more. Joyce was still furious at them for their antics the previous day and they were exhausted after all the chores she had invented for them. "If you're busy then you can't get up to mischief," she had said.

"Your Mum's quite the slave driver," Spike remarked in an undertone.

Buffy only grunted in reply. He didn't seem to get the message that she didn't want to talk.

She could see a determined glint in his eye. He had something on his mind. "I want to know about Glory. It's not fair that nobody tells me anything and I'm putting my hide at risk too."

"No," she replied. He was starting to wear down her resolve though. He had a point. He might be a pain in the ass, however, he was on their side and genuinely seemed to be fond of Dawn and Joyce. He smirked as if he could see the indecision in her eyes. Luckily she was saved by the sound of the doorbell.

"Don't think this is over," he mumbled and he followed as she ran to the door. Giles beat them to it and pulled the door open. They peered out from behind Giles, expecting to see Angel, only to see an extremely green looking demon with small red horns. He looked at them appraisingly and smiled. "Hello there, Munchkins. Aren't you positively edible?"

"I'm the slayer." Buffy prepared to launch herself at the green demon. "Demons are ringing my doorbell to be staked now?"

It was then Angel stepped out of the darkness. "Buffy, no! This is Lorne. He's my friend."

To be continued…..


	8. Chapter 8

**Caution Children**

A special thank you as always to the delightful Ginar369, who proves herself indispensable with the beta.

Disclaimer: Don't own, just borrowing for non-profit making frolicking

**Chapter Eight**

After all the introductions were made Joyce offered refreshments for everyone. Only the two vampires didn't follow her into the kitchen.

Spike glared at his grandsire. "I don't want you here."

Angel smiled. "I wouldn't have missed this opportunity for the entire world."

Spike could tell he was really enjoying this. "I hate you," he grumbled.

Angel reached down and rubbed his hair. "Calm down there, sport."

Spike balled his fists. He knew his grandsire was trying to bait him, but he had never been one for self-control. His temper was even closer to the surface these days.

"Why're you here, Peaches?"

Spike wished he was taller so that he could reach that smug face and punch him. It was bad enough that he was vertically challenged as an adult but now all kiddie-sized it was much worse.

"I came because Buffy needed me."

"Buffy doesn't want you here," Spike hissed.

"You keep telling yourself that, Willie."

Spike stamped his foot with frustration. "You always come and steal my things? Dru was my girl and you kept stealing her. And Buffy is my -"

"She's not your girl," Angel interjected.

Spike found himself backtracking quickly. "I know. She's my enemy, who's a girl and I play with sometimes."

Angel burst into laughter. "Oh Spike. You're the one that goes after my women not the other way around. Oh, it's so pathetic, it's funny."

"You could just have sent Sparkles. It's not like you'll be much help. The last time you were here you made her cry."

Angel's grin grew even bigger. "Oh, I've figured it out. Little Spikey's got a crush on Buffy."

"No I don't," Spike protested.

"But you do," Angel sneered. "But you have to know she'll never give you the time of day when she's back to normal. You've no soul. Buffy' s better than that."

"You've got it all wrong."

Angel was about to start lecturing him again, when he was saved by the arrival of Buffy with a mug of blood each for them. The rest of the chattering occupants of the house started to gather in the living room once more. The two vampires gratefully took the mugs from the slayer.

"What ya talking about?" she asked.

The two vampires met each other's eyes. "Nothing," Spike lied.

Buffy looked suspiciously at the elder vampire, but he just shrugged.

She abandoned the topic when neither was being forthcoming. "Mom said Giles thought you would be able to keep an eye on the house in case Rayne turns up again."

That answered the question he had been putting to his grandsire, but it didn't make his presence any more bearable.

Angel nodded importantly. "Seeing as neither of you are at full strength, you need somebody watching out."

Giles walked over to the trio hearing the conversation. "Willow and Tara's spells can only do so much. I did think it would be prudent to have someone strong and capable around."

"Hey!" Spike could see his indignation was shared by the slayer.

"I beat up Willy!" Buffy pointed out.

"And I helped," Spike felt the need to add.

"You watched," she corrected. He stuck his tongue out but immediately regretted it knowing Angel was enjoying this exchange a little too much.

Giles shook his head. "Be that as it may, Willy is called Willy the Snitch, because he is known to be a snivelling coward. Ethan is a very different kettle of fish. Besides if you both could behave yourselves then we probably wouldn't be having this conversation."

Spike met the slayer's eyes. They both knew the game was up. His ears had disappeared but the memory of them was still fresh in his mind.

Angel had been watching the whole conversation keenly. He looked surprised to see that Buffy could be mischievous when she wanted to be. "Spike's influence, I imagine," he suggested.

Joyce and Dawn walked over during the last portion of the conversation and they started to laugh loudly.

"Buffy was always a rambunctious child." Joyce smiled fondly. "She didn't need Spike's help with that. Buffy ran me ragged when she was really little."

Buffy went red. "Mom!"

Angel pinched his jaw thoughtfully. "That might be true, but I've got to be honest. I don't like the idea of Spike hanging around. He's soulless and can't be trusted."

Spike clenched his fists. The prat was talking about him like he wasn't there.

Dawn snorted. "You've no business deciding what's good for Buffy or not, since you decided what was best for her that you leave her."

Spike's dead heart swelled at the Bit defending him. Angel looked even more slacked jawed than usual.

Buffy was rolling her eyes. "She's right Angel. He hasn't been my enemy in ages, you idiot."

Spike smirked at her words.

Buffy continued, "He's been here helping when you've been in LA even if he has to get paid for it. He's the pain in the ass that I can't get rid of. He's the stinky shadow that follows me around. "

His smirk fell. "Hey!" More fool him to think that she was softening towards him but at least she was annoyed at Angel.

Lorne and Angel were conversing quietly in the corner since they came in. Spike had nothing against the jolly green demon; however, he couldn't say the same for Captain Forehead. He shot a glare in the direction of his grandsire every couple of minutes. Spike was sitting in between Dawn and Joyce on the sofa and Buffy was sitting on the floor. He knew Peaches didn't like that and he would take what little he could get. He heard Giles ask Angel to come outside into the porch. He watched as the vampire got up leaving the room. Spike was so distracted by listening into the conversation between Giles and Angel, he hadn't noticed Lorne coming over to him and Buffy.

"Earth to Spike," Buffy was saying and waving her hands in his face.

"Bloody hell," Spike muttered.

Joyce nodded at Dawn. "Let's go and make dinner and leave Lorne to talk with Spike and Buffy."

Lorne smiled at the ladies as they left. He turned back to Spike and Buffy then. "So, do you kids think you can sing your uncle Lorne a song?"

Both Spike and Buffy were less then pleased at the moniker, which made the demon backtrack a little. "Sorry, I haven't met you all before and I'm having difficulty imagining you little cuties all growed up."

"Not helping," Buffy said.

Spike had enough. "What the bloody hell do you want?" He went into game face and Buffy punched him on the arm with an annoyed glare. "There's no need to be mean," she scolded.

"I'm evil," he mumbled. There had been no need for it though as Lorne didn't even flinch. Being in this child's body really sucked; he couldn't work up a good scare anymore. Even with the chip he could still be intimidating to humans and he could wreak havoc with any demon.

Lorne cleared his throat. "I have a special talent and it might be able to help you get back to your normal selves. I need you both to sing me a tune."

Spike looked at him incredulously. "You've got to be kidding me!"

"Just sing him a line of a song," came Angel's voice. Spike turned baleful eyes on him once more and noticed that he had brought Giles with him back into the house.

The watcher fiddled with his glasses as he was wont to do when he was frustrated. "Angel is right. This is why I called him. Willow told me about Lorne. She met him the last time she was in Los Angeles."

Spike shook his head. "I'm not singing a sodding song." He had some pride. It might not be much but he was determined to hang on to the little he had.

"Me either." Buffy put her hand on her hips as well. "I'm with Spike on this one."

Spike gave Angel a smug grin. _So there Peaches._

Lorne sighed. "You need to sing so I can read you. If you sing for me I might be able to tell how you can get out of those little bodies and back into your adult selves."

Giles rolled his eyes impatiently. "Do you want to remain little forever and grow up again? Besides, Spike you may never grow up. Imagine being an undead child forever. At least Buffy has a chance at growing up. This might be your only chance to figure this out. I didn't believe you could possibly be more annoying than you already were. Yet as a child you truly are the spawn of Satan."

Buffy let out a giggle at that.

Giles pointed a finger at her. "And you are a whiny pain in the arse."

That shut her up. It was Spike's turn to smirk this time.

Lorne sighed loudly and turned to Giles and Angel. "You two are not helping. Maybe you two should back off and let me talk to them. I've been told I'm good with children."

Spike and Buffy met each other's eyes in mutual disdain. Angel and Giles left the room.

Lorne sat down on the sofa next to Spike and Buffy sat on his other side. "I own a nightclub and people come there from all over for me to read their aura. I'm good at it and I might be able to help you if you let me."

Spike turned to look at Buffy and he could see her resolve was wavering. "Maybe we should," she said softly. Truth be told his own resolve was waning too. The idea of being in this sodding body forever wasn't fun at all.

"Fine. " Spike threw his hands in air. "As long as, it's only us three. I'm not having anybody else listening in."

"Well hallejullah!" Lorne beamed at them.

Spike was scowling and Lorne patted him on the shoulder. "Here's a little story that might make you feel a little better about it. Angel sung for me once and let me tell you that is an experience I never want to repeat."

Lorne was right. It did make Spike feel a little better. "Did he sing Barry Manilow?"

"He murdered "Mandy" and it was vicious."

"Who's Mandy?" Buffy scrunched her nose in confusion. "Was he Angelus then?

""Mandy" is one of Manilow's best known songs," Lorne explained with a grin. "Now, any ideas for a song."

Spike sighed noisily. "Bloody hell! Let's just get this over and done with."

Buffy turned to Spike with a gleam in her eye. "What about something from New Kids on the Block or the Backstreet Boys?"

Spike knew she was only half teasing him. "No bloody way! If I'm going to make a fool out of myself I've got to sing a proper song. The Ramones or The Clash?"

"Your proper songs are just noise," she retorted. "I don't know any of them."

An exasperated Lorne was rubbed at his temple. "For goodness sake can you just decide already?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "I have an idea. How about a Michael Jackson song?"

Spike shook his head and put his arms across his chest.

"Ah come on, Spike," she wheedled. "Everybody loves Michael Jackson and we can even sing "Bad". It would be fun."

She pouted for good measure and he felt his resolve weaken.

"Bloody bossy boots," he murmured.

"Hey, did you just call me a bossy boots?"

"No," he exclaimed horrified at the childish words that kept leaking out of him at the most inappropriate time. Buffy would never leave him forget it. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. He was going to sing even if he was completely mortified. At least when he was returned to his adult body then he could forget all about this whole embarrassing week.

"You're insufferable," he said determined to speak properly and not like a child. He sighed dramatically. "Can you remember the words then?"

"Let's start from the chorus. One – two – three."

The two started to sing: Buffy with enthusiasm and Spike with resignation. Once they were finished singing Lorne smiled wistfully at them. "Good news and bad news. The good news is that when you're both back to your adult selves come back and see me. The bad news is there is nothing I glean with regard to your case of kiditis."

Spike kicked at the chair in anger and knocked it over. "You mean I've sung a ditty for nothing. Bloody hell."

Buffy started to giggle.

"What?"

"Spike – I didn't know you could sing that high."

Spike knew he would be red if he wasn't a vampire. "I'm all kiddie-sized ain't I? The voice isn't broken and all that. I couldn't sing like that since I was a rugrat."

Buffy eyes sparkled mischievously. "I don't know. Your voice gets kinda high when I kick you in the nuts."

Lorne chuckled, while Spike sent a withering glare at the slayer. Why did she have to be so high and mighty all the time, putting him down?

"Seriously though," Lorne continued. "Make sure you call me when you're all growed up. There's a message I need to give you."

Spike scoffed, "There won't be any point if you can't reverse this bloody spell."

The day went from bad to worse. Angel was walking around the Summers' home like he owned it; the superhero who came to save the day. It made Spike sick to the stomach to see Buffy paying too much attention to the idiot. Spike and Dawn were sitting cross legged on the floor of the living room playing a game of cards. Dawn had planted herself firmly on Spike's camp and the pair of them were taking turns in making jokes at Angel's expense.

"I can hear you, you know," Angel said.

"I know," Spike and Dawn replied in unison.

Joyce tutted. "Stop making fun of Angel. It's not nice."

"But it's fun," Spike snarked.

"Now, you stop that young man." Joyce waved her finger at him. "I'm disappointed at your behaviour tonight. Angel has come to help and he deserves your respect."

Spike pursed his lips and crossed his arms at the rebuke. He was humiliated in front of Angel and he had an urge to bawl his eyes out. He shook off the urge, knowing he couldn't give Peaches the satisfaction. It was bad enough for this grandsire to see him like this. He was very stung by Joyce's defence of Angel. He had been quite sure she didn't like his grand sire at all. He was supposed to be her favourite vampire.

Trying not to show how affected he was, Spike asked, "Why haven't Red and Glinda been around?"

Joyce frowned. "I suppose they have been busy with all the research."

"They were the only one's who'd play games with us," he said. "You're too busy at work and the Watcher is too busy yelling at us."

The woman smirked at him. "Aren't you always reminding us that you're not really kids?"

He pouted at that. Whatever it was about Joyce, it was even harder to remember he wasn't really a rugrat when she was around. She had a way of mothering him and even as an adult vampire she reminded him of his mother, but he was still mad at her for embarrassing him in front of Peaches.

Spike crept silently around the living room. So much for Angel's hero role, the dark haired vampire was fast asleep in the armchair. Spike was determined to show them all he was better than Angel. He was going to find this Ethan bloke himself and end this nonsense once and for all. He didn't think through how he could manage that being all bite sized, but then he was at his best when winging it. His plans never really seemed to work anyway, although he was aware that was mainly due to his impatience rather than his incapability of thinking up a good plan. He pushed open the door, pausing for a moment and making sure Peaches was still sleeping. Once he was satisfied, he let the door close softly behind him. Spike relished the freedom of being outside once again. He and Buffy were in lockdown since their last escapades. Maybe there would be clues in his crypt? He was shorter and therefore closer to the ground, maybe the Scooby gang missed out on something. It wasn't far from here. He tried to ignore his sense of unease as he entered Restfield.

"I'm a Big Bad, an evil vampire," he muttered to himself.

Despite his attempt at bravado, he gasped when he saw a large, burly demon with curling red horns like a bull. His skin was the colour of cement and he had black eyes. Spike froze in his tracks and gulped.

"Hi there, little fella," said the demon, "What's a little boy like you doing wandering the streets at this hour?"

The boy felt a prick of fear at the huge demon towering over him. _What am I doing? I'm a vampire._ "Not a little boy," he roared before he went into game face and growled, catching the demon by surprise. He watched in satisfaction at the slack jawed expression and took off at speed before the demon could regain his senses. _Yeah, I'm still bad._ He smirked as he ran full pelt. When he finally reached the crypt, he threw himself down on the sarcophagus exhausted. His little body wasn't as strong as his adult body. When he had rested for a few minutes he went down the bottom part of his crypt and looked around for anything out of place. He found nothing and went back up to the upper level to check there. He was disappointed to have nothing to show for his walkabout. He knew he couldn't afford to wait around any longer. Angel could wake up any minute to find him gone or perhaps he had even woken up already. He grinned widely when he spotted the skull, he used as an ashtray, just where he left it.

"Hmm that could be interesting," he said aloud, a plan forming in his mind.

He ran back to Revello Drive as fast as his little legs could carry him. He crept back in the house through the window he had left ajar. He was relieved to see Captain Forehead was still sleeping and didn't notice he had company. He jumped as Buffy leapt out in front of him.

"Where have you been?"

He stuck out his tongue. "Out for a walk."

She puffed up indignantly. "I'm telling."

He grabbed her arm roughly. "Don't! I have a much better idea that I think you would like."

She arched a brow. "You have one minute to convince me."

"Don't you think Peaches should be awake not sleeping?" Spike asked. "I never should have been able to get out of the house."

"I guess so," she said, sounding bored. "What does this have to do with your plan exactly? Time's ticking, Spikey."

"What if we were to teach him a lesson?" Spike suggested.

"Spill, Spike. I'm getting impatient." She tapped her watch.

"We let him think I'm dust," Spike explained. "I found some ashes in my crypt and if we place it carefully we could let him think he has let me get dusted."

He pulled out a cigarette box from his pocket and Buffy looked inside and sure enough there was ashes inside.

"Spike, that's kind of mean," Buffy said.

"Ah come on, Slayer," Spike begged. "He deserves it. Remember what he did to you? He broke your heart. Besides, no one gets hurt. It's just a joke. Evil and inspired? Sure, but just a joke."

"Spike, it's a pretty awful thing to do."

Spike groaned. "First good plan I've had in a while and you have to tear it apart."

"I didn't say no," she said.

Spike punched the air and Buffy stifled a giggle.

"We can just put it outside on the porch, knock a few things about like there was a struggle and I'll go hide," Spike said.

"Under my bed," she ordered. "I'll put out the ashes on the porch and then I'll go wake Angel, telling him you're missing."

She looked at Angel. "I can't believe he fell asleep like this. Anything could have happened."

Spike felt a sense of satisfaction at her annoyance at Angel. Perhaps the Slayer was coming to her senses about Tall, Dark and Brooding at last. There heard a noise from across the room. They turned to look at Angel, who had moved in his sleep.

Buffy pushed Spike in the direction of the stairs. "Now go!"

Spike crept into Buffy's room and slid under the bed. He listened very carefully to what was going on downstairs.

"Angel! Wake up!" Buffy was saying.

There was a thumping sound and Spike guessed Angel must have knocked something over in fright.

"What's wrong, Buffy?" Angel asked.

Spike clucked his tongue. Peaches really thought he was the big hero.

"Spike's gone and I don't know where he is."

Spike had to hand it to Buffy; she was a superb actress.

Angel was trying to reassure her. "I'm sure he's around here somewhere. You know it's hard to get rid of a bad thing."

Spike had to clamp his mouth shut to prevent a growl. He clenched his fists hard. This was going to serve Peaches right.

"Could he have left the house?" Buffy asked innocently. "Surely you would have heard him, right?"

"Sure, I would," Angel said gruffly.

"I have checked everywhere," Buffy insisted.

"Let's check again," Angel said.

He listened to the sound of the two going from room to room in the house. They weren't making much noise, careful not to wake the rest of the occupants. Spike figured Angel was saving face and hoping to solve the matter, before everyone else got to find out about his carelessness.

"I can still smell him," Angel said, "I think he can't have gone far."

They walked into Buffy's room as expected and he was relieved when Buffy said she would check under the bed.

She winked at him as she put her head down. "No, he's not there, Angel. Maybe we should outside in the front and back."

"The little brat," Angel snarled. "I'm going to kill him."

If Spike didn't know better, he would have thought there was real concern in his tone. Spike waited until he heard the front door slam and got out of the bed and went over to the window, which was ajar. Angel was staring at the ground. Spike smirked and decided to announce his continuing unlife. He jumped out of the window and landed right on top of Angel. His grandsire's mouth was open doing an imitation of a fish and Spike took a swing at him.

"That's for saying it's difficult for getting rid of a bad thing."

Angel pulled him and held him away from his body. "You little bastard. I thought you were dead."

"Actually, already dead-" Spike said, before he was interrupted by a surprising hug.

Spike briefly relaxed into the embrace before they both caught themselves and pulled away embarrassed. Buffy looked amused and let out a little laugh. This seemed to remind Angel of the Slayer's presence.

Angel turned to Buffy with narrowed eyes. "Were you involved in this?"

Buffy went bright red and Angel shook his head disbelievingly.

"I'm going to have to tell on you both," he said.

Spike smirked. "Then you would have to tell Joyce you fell asleep on watch, when you were meant to me making sure her daughter was safe. She tried to hit me with an axe once, so I wouldn't recommend you being on the wrong side of her. She's a tough lady."

"And for some reason, she does seem to like Spike," added Buffy.

Spike beamed at her words. Maybe today was going to be a better day, after all? He could see the sun was starting to rise. He had better go inside before he really was dust.

To be continued..

End note:

Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think.


	9. Chapter 9

**Caution Children**

**Chapter Nine**

The following morning, Giles arrived early at the Summers' house. Giles was disgusted that the arrival of Angel and Lorne hadn't brought them any new leads. Still, he had to admit he did get pleasure out of the looks on Buffy and Spike's faces, when he told them that Angel was coming. Although, she had been angry at mischievous duo, she had made Giles fully aware of her displeasure. The Watcher couldn't deny he had to share the blame when he fell asleep on watch. Giles knew Joyce hadn't been particularly happy that he had asked Angel to come, given the vampire's history with Buffy. Nonetheless, Joyce was ever the lady and since Angel had arrived she didn't let her dislike for the vampire show. Dawn didn't have the same manners and Giles suspected the young girl had a bit of a crush on Spike. It seemed all three Summers women had a bit of an attachment to the peroxided pest. His lips pursed at the thought. He only hoped he was reading too much into Buffy's recent interactions with the vampire. It was understandable that she would gravitate towards the vampire when they were the only ones affected by the spell. Still, it made the Watcher feel uneasy. It was not the natural order of things.

Giles heard the sound of two squabbling voices the moment he walked in the door. He didn't know how Joyce could manage it at all. She really was a remarkable woman. He could see Buffy was right in Spike's face and the vampire was glaring right back at her.

"Stop trying to steal my mom," Buffy was saying.

"I can't help it if she likes me better than you," Spike replied, with a smirk.

Buffy narrowed her eyes. "She does not!"

"She does too!"

Giles sighed loudly. "Do you two ever stop bickering?"

Both of the children turned to scowl at him, temporarily united in irritation at him. As always it was a jarring feeling, when the two agreed on anything.

"Is your mother around?" Giles asked Buffy.

Buffy nodded. "Uh-huh. She's in the kitchen hiding from William."

The scowl on Spike's face at the use of his given name was priceless.

"No - she isn't hiding from me! Your Mum likes me." Spike crossed his arms. "And don't call me that."

"Mom said you're William as long as you stay in this house." Buffy stuck out her tongue. "So, there."

"I hate you," Spike spat.

"Not as much as I hate you," Buffy replied.

Leaving behind the squabbling pair, Giles made his way into the kitchen. Joyce was sitting at the table with a mug in her hands.

"Rupert!" She smiled warmly at him. "Would you like something to drink?"

Giles sat down at the table. "Have you any tea?"

Joyce got up and turned on the kettle.

"Are you hiding in here?" Giles asked.

Joyce laughed. "I'm just looking for a little peace and quiet."

"Hard to get that around here at the moment," Giles remarked.

Joyce handed him a mug of tea. "Understatement of the year, Rupert."

Giles supressed a snort and gratefully took a sip. He was surprised by the taste of the tea. It tasted more like the tea back home than the usual rubbish they sold in the States.

"Where did you get this tea, Joyce?"

Joyce smiled. "Spike recommended it to me actually."

Giles blinked. Well that was unexpected?

"I thought vampires preferred blood to tea," Giles said drily. "Well, I have to admit he has good taste in tea."

Joyce nodded her head. "He loves my hot cocoa too. I've not met too many vampires, thank God, though William strikes me as very unusual for a blood sucking fiend."

"You should never forget what he is, Joyce," Giles said quite seriously.

"I'm not stupid, Rupert." He could see from the look in her eyes where Buffy got her strength of mind from.

He stood his ground feeling the words needed to be said. "I would hate for you and Buffy to be taken in by another vampire."

Joyce's eyebrows went up at that. "Taken in by another vampire? I think you're projecting your own issues onto me. I never liked Angel. You were the one that trusted him."

Giles had no answer to that and reached for his glasses and reached into his pocket to get a cloth to polish them with. "You're absolutely right of course," he confessed. "Point taken."

Joyce was far from finished. "While I'm speaking my mind, I have to say you're being deliberately antagonistic to William, and it isn't fair as he isn't in his right mind."

"He's still a vampire, Joyce, even if he is being, and I use the term loosely, cute."

His sarcasm wasn't lost on her. "Don't mock me, Rupert," she snapped.

"I'm not mocking you," he argued. "I'm just concerned that Spike and Buffy are spending too much time together."

"Well, that can hardly be helped at the moment," Joyce pointed out.

Giles sighed, "I know. I'm just worried that he has developed a bit of an infatuation with Buffy and I can't see that ending well. I don't want her to get hurt again."

Joyce softened a little. "I know you're concerned for Buffy's welfare, but would it kill you to be a little nicer to him."

It wasn't long before the two little cretins joined Giles and Joyce in the kitchen. Spike was looking quite smug and Giles wondered if perhaps he has been listening in to the conversation. He would certainly get off on the idea of Joyce defending him.

Spike grinned at Joyce. "Hullo, Joyce. Can I have some blood?"

That butter wouldn't melt expression didn't belong on a soulless fiend even if he had a chip in his head.

"Help yourself, William," Joyce said.

"Thanks, Joyce." Spike went over to the fridge and pulled out a bag of blood. He must have been hungry as he never bothered to heat it up, just put it straight into the mug and gulped it down.

Buffy stuck out her tongue in disgust. "Bleurgh! How can you drink that icky stuff?"

Spike smacked his lips obnoxiously. "It's yummy." She didn't look convinced and he rolled his eyes. "It's life, dummy."

Buffy glared dangerously at the vampire. "Stop calling me names, pea brain."

Giles tried to supress a smile and caught Joyce's eye. Joyce's expression was too much and Giles barely managed to stop sniggering.

Spike glared at Buffy. "I'm not a pea brain, and you have funny hair."

"Mom!" Buffy looked at her plaintively. "William called my hair silly."

"I heard him, sweetheart." She looked reprovingly at the vampire. "Say sorry to Buffy, William." Then she turned back to Buffy, "and you apologise to William, Buffy."

Buffy opened her mouth furiously, before sighing in submission. Giles watched in astonishment as the two bickering children were silenced.

"Sorry," they mumbled, sounding anything but. When Joyce wasn't looking they went back to sending poisonous looks at each other. Maybe he was putting too much credence in the belief that Spike had an obsession with Buffy? Giles certainly hoped so.

Several hours later, Giles was sitting in the living room, when there was a sound of a scuffle outside. He jumped to his feet, Joyce beside him. Giles was looking out the window as Dawn, Spike and Buffy came tearing down the stairs.

"What's going on?" Buffy asked.

"I don't know." Giles searched the darkness for the answer.

He spotted Angel and Lorne walking up the drive, holding a struggling man between them. Joyce rushed over to the door to open it. Buffy and Spike stood side by side, looking on in interest, while Dawn nervously bit her lip. It wasn't until the three came stumbling in the door, that Giles got a good look at the mystery captive. Ethan Rayne!

Angel flung the mage to the ground. "Do you recognise this piece of vermin?" he asked.

"It's Ethan Rayne," Buffy said, with a scowl.

Spike narrowed his eyes. "So, this is the mage with the magic stick up his ass." The little vampire stepped forward. "You did some good work that Halloween, and I did enjoy the Watcher going all Fyarl."

"Shut up, Spike," Buffy interrupted.

Spike ignored her and continued to address Ethan, "I don't appreciate this piece of mojo that turned me into a little sprog though."

Ethan took no notice of the angry little faces staring up at him; his eyes were only for Giles.

"I see you've lost those rabbit ears, Ripper. A pity – they were quite becoming."

Giles shook his head at the sheer arrogance of the man. He was captive by a vampire and he barely reacted to it as if it was a daily occurrence.

Spike snorted his amusement at the jibe. "They were." He paused suddenly. "Hang on one minute. What am I doing just standing here? You're responsible for my little problem." Spike balled his fists and went into game face. He turned to Buffy. "Want to sort him out, Slayer?"

"Hell, yeah!"

The two children made a dash to attack the mage. Spike grabbed Ethan by the arm and bit down on it. The chip kicked in and he doubled up in pain, holding his head. Buffy had no such barrier to hurting the mage and punched him right in the nose. Giles winced at the sound of cartilage breaking.

Ethan put his hand to his face, holding his nose, which was pouring blood. "Get off me, you brat!" He shoved Buffy away.

Spike seemed to have recovered from his headache and was practically salivating at the smell of the blood. "Can I eat him if she kills him?" He licked his lips.

Buffy was still attacking his old friend and Giles was satisfied to see that Ethan finally looked uncomfortable. "Oh come on! You're supposed to be the good guys."

"Why should we help you?" Giles asked. "Unless you're going to help us."

Ethan answered from under his hands, which he was using to shield his face from Buffy's blows, "Fine – I'll tell you."

Giles nodded at Angel and the vampire scooped up Spike and Buffy, the squirming duo less than happy at the indignity of it all. He deposited the two on the settee next to Dawn.

"Oh yeah, I can bite demons," Spike declared before trying to take a chunk out of Angel's arm.

"Why you little bastard," Angel shouted, the little vampire swinging off his arm, fangs embedded deep.

"William!" Joyce chastised and Spike immediately let go of Angel's arm, but not without a glare.

Giles turned his attention back to the captive on the floor. "Well, Ethan, what on earth were you doing getting involved with a hell god?"

Ethan made a clucking noise with his mouth. "You can't say no to Glorificus, Ripper."

Giles narrowed his eyes. "Not if you only want to save your own skin."

Ethan rolled his eyes. "At the end of the day, we all want to save our own hides, and damn everyone else. At least I'm honest about it."

Angel stepped in. "Tell us how to end this spell."

Ethan laughed. "Oh, you fools. That was never the point. It was all a distraction while Glory brain sucked as many people as she could. She had some foolish idea that if she increased the amount of energy she was taken in that she could permanently take over her vessel."

Giles' eyebrows went up at that. He needed to have a good long chat with his old friend. The return of Buffy to her normal state was the most pressing matter.

"The two brats will be back to their usual selves in no time," Ethan scoffed. "The spell will wear out eventually. I surmise it only has another few days in it."

Giles gritted his teeth. "Tell us about exactly what Glory wanted to distract us from?"

"Not unless you can guarantee me protection from her."

"Despite my better judgement, I would never let her harm any human, but don't test me because I have no compunction letting Angel have at you."

Ethan gulped. "I just wanted to cause a little havoc, Ripper. The whole turning the vampire and slayer into kids was the full scale of the deal. I wasn't meant to be involved any further."

"Could you be a little bit more specific?" Joyce interjected. She tapped her foot on the floor and had her arms crossed.

Ehhan sighed. "She figured after the spell getting Buffy and Spike to tell her about the key would be a piece of cake, but then she changed her mind. She turned her attention to me and told me I had to come up with a spell to locate the key instead. You know what insane types are like."

Giles clenched his teeth together. "I order you to lift the spell right now."

Ethan flashed him a grin. "I'll need supplies."

"It can wait till morning," Joyce interjected.

"I'll keep an eye on this piece of filth," Angel offered.

"Take him down to the basement," Joyce said.

Spike and Buffy were being suspiciously quiet and Giles wondered what they were up to. When he turned around, he saw the two had fallen asleep on the sofa.

Dawn shook her head. "One minute they were shoving each other and the next they were fast asleep."

The teenager got up and stretched. "I'm going to bed."

With a wave she walked up the stairs and Giles was startled to see Joyce had started to sniffle.

"Oh I don't know, Rupert. Can we keep them little just a little longer?"

Giles starred incredulously at the woman. "Are you insane?"

"They're just so cute and little," she said watching the two sleeping bodies.

He snorted. "Little demons more like."

She smacked him on the arm. "That's my daughter you're talking about."

He stuttered at that. "I didn't mean to-"

Joyce laughed at his wide eyes expression. "I'm kidding," she reassured him.

They turned their attention back to the sleeping duo once more. Spike shifted in he is sleep and moved closer to Buffy.

Joyce frowned. "What you were saying earlier made me think. I'm worried about them, Rupert. I'm afraid Buffy's falling for another vampire and as much as I like Spike I want a normal life for her."

Giles was disturbed at her words. "I know Spike has feelings for her, but I didn't think they were reciprocated."

She sighed. "At least he is better than Angel."

The sound of the door opening interrupted them as Lorne walked in.

"How are the little tykes?" he asked. When he rested his eyes on Spike and Buffy, he smiled. "It's a good job Angelkins isn't here to see this." He looked up at Joyce and Giles once more. "Aren't they just adorable?"

Joyce laughed. "I was just saying that." She pried her eyes away from the sleeping duo and turned to her guests. "Would either of you like something to drink? Tea? Coffee?"

"I think I might need something stronger if you have it," Giles replied. "I'm going to have a private chat with my old friend and see if I can get him to explain exactly what he meant about a vessel."

To be continued….

End note: Nearly there folks. It was always meant to be ten chapters but I think it might go over a little.


	10. Chapter 10

**Caution: Children At Play**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own BTVS, but if I did… it would be priceless.**

**Beta supplied by the kind and encouraging Ginar369. Thanks dear**

**Chapter Ten**

Spike awoke to find he had fallen asleep on the sofa with Buffy. Someone, most likely Joyce, had placed a blanket over them. The lights were off but he could hear voices coming from the basement; the watcher appeared to be giving their new house guest the third degree. He looked at the clock on the wall. It was half past one and Joyce and Dawn were gone to bed. Spike could hear the sound of footfalls outside on the porch. Angel was probably skulking about like a guard dog outside. _Bloody idiot._ He looked over at the sleeping Slayer and decided he didn't want her to wake up with him cuddled up next to her. It wasn't until Spike tried to move that he realised there was a weight on his arm; Buffy was lying on him. He snorted in disgust at the drool dripping from her open mouth. Good job he wasn't wearing his duster. Spike rolled his eyes and pulled his arm roughly from under her, the force of his movement caused her to fall off the sofa onto the floor. Buffy woke with a start and Spike chuckled quietly as she blinked confusedly. Her mouth opened furiously, but before she could utter a word Spike came over to her and put his hand over her mouth.

"Mmph." Buffy struggled in his grip trying to pull his hand away.

"I want to hear what's going on downstairs," he said. "If you start yelling we're not going to hear anything."

Buffy stopped struggling and he removed his hand from her mouth. Before he could feel too smug, she stomped hard on his foot. The malicious bint wore a devious expression and he bit his tongue trying to stop a loud curse.

His eyes narrowed dangerously. "There was no need for that, Slayer."

She put her hands on her hips and her nose in the air. "You would say that, William."

_Bloody, superior bint. _Despite her attitude Spike knew she was just as curious as he was and that was only reason she hadn't punched him in the nose as well.

"Well then!" Buffy demanded. "What are they saying?"

He had lost track of the conversation while he was arguing with the Slayer. Whatever it was about her that got under his skin so much. Everything else seemed to pale into significance when she was around.

He shook his head trying to concentrate on the matter at hand before hissing, "If you just shut up I might be able to tell you."

Buffy stuck her tongue out in response. "Stupid vampire hearing," he heard her muttering.

Spike smirked. "If that's the way you feel, I won't bother fillin' you in. I'll keep my stupid vampire hearing to myself."

He narrowly avoided a cushion thrown at his head. He really loved getting a reaction out of the chit. Since he had been chipped, he had much less chances to get his kicks and he would take them where he could. Buffy tapped her foot giving him a meaningful look. He shook his head in amusement and finally turned his attention back to the interrogation in the basement.

"You better tell me exactly what it is you know about Glory," Giles was saying. "If you want protection, then you're going to have to earn it."

Spike almost shivered at Giles' chilly tone despite himself, but Big Bads didn't shiver, even little Big Bads. Nevertheless, he had to confess he'd underestimated the man. Under that stiff upper lip and bumbling facade was a man of steel. For the first time he realised you crossed Rupert Giles at your own peril.

The mage sounded rattled. "I've answered your questions, Ripper. What more do you want from me?"

_Ripper? _Spike wondered where Giles got the name.

"You have to know something that can help us," the Watcher continued.

"I have told you all I know about the spell, haven't I?"

Spike heard a loud thud from the basement and from the pained yelp, he figured Rupert was responsible and giving the mage a thump.

Buffy stood at the door straining her ears. "I can't hear anything."

Spike finally took pity on her. "Not a lot to report, Slayer. Your old man is taunting the mage, tryin' to get some info."

"No," Ethan choked from the basement. "Killing me won't do any good. Could be that I remember something of use later."

Spike had to admire the man's balls. "The bloke's not biting though."

Buffy pouted. "I wish I had vampire hearing too."

"I think you'd make a pretty good vamp, pet," Spike confessed.

"Would I?" She seemed strangely chuffed with the idea. "It's cos I'm scary, right?"

Spike grinned wickedly. "If only the monsters knew just how cranky you are in the morning."

Buffy scowled at him. "Yeah – well you're a smelly boy."

"I don't smell."

Buffy scrunched her nose and began fanning her face. "Eugh. What's that smell? Oh yeah – it's William."

Spike pursed his lips, and then retorted, "You've stupid hair. No wonder you and Peaches get along so well. You prolly talk about shampoos and hair gel all the time."

Spike knew his comeback was pretty lame, but he wasn't going to let Buffy have the last word.

Buffy's mouth was twitching. "You're the one with the yen for nail varnish. You're such a girl."

Spike's mouth dropped open. "I'm not girly." He spat the last word.

Their voices had risen with their banter and they had momentarily forgotten about the conversation going on in the basement.

The front door flew open and Angel walked in. "Can't you two quit bickering? You're going to wake the whole house."

Buffy poked her finger at Spike's chest. "It's all Spike's fault."

Spike gave her a two fingered salute. "No – it's Buffy's fault."

Angel sighed dramatically. "I thought Spike was bad. I would have thought you would have more sense, Buffy."

Spike snorted and rolled his eyes. "Oi Buffy, what did you ever see in this berk?"

There was a disapproving sniff from behind them. Spike whirled around to see Giles standing in the doorway.

"Disruptin' your pow-wow are we, Rupert?"

Giles took his glasses from his nose and started polishing furiously. "Indeed!"

Buffy walked over to Giles and pulled his arm. "Can I come down and watch you? I wanna help. I can help. "

Giles looked up from his task. "No – you should go to bed. You look exhausted."

Spike thought Giles had a point. She did look rather tired, her eyes were red-rimmed and she was yawning.

"I'm not tired," she protested with another wide yawn. "Please, Giles. I promise I'll be good."

Giles shook his head. "I'm sorry, Buffy. You're not exactly yourself. I know what I'm doing."

_More like the tosser didn't want Buffy seeing the real Giles_, Spike thought.

"You don't let us have any fun," the Slayer complained throwing herself back on the couch. "And I'm still not going to bed."

"I tell you what, Slayer," Spike said. "I'm sick of staying inside all day and night. It's like I'm a prisoner and I'm getting cabin fever. I say we go outside. "

Buffy's face lit up and she jumped up from the couch.

Giles gave in with a sigh. "I don't see why not as long as you keep in Angel's sight at all times."

"You're giving me babysitting duties?" Angel asked incredulously.

Spike met Buffy's eyes in exasperation at Peaches' choice of words. The large fore headed idiot wanted babysitting then he was going to get it.

"Well, have you got a better idea? They'll tire themselves out and then we'll a couple of hours peace."

They were doing that bloody thing again of talking to one another about them as if they weren't in the room. _Bugger that._

Spike tugged Buffy's arm, "Let's get out of here, Slayer, before those two bore us to death."

Buffy gave the vampire and man a seething look before nodding vigorously. "The last one outside is a rotten egg."

She pushed him hard and he almost fell over with the force of the push.

"Hey!" he yelled.

She tore out the door with a giggle and Spike stomped quickly after her, Angel in his wake.

"You're a cheat!" He accused her once he had come face to face with her on the porch.

Spike spotted a football in the neighbours' garden and quickly hopped over fence.

"Spike come back here," Angel ordered.

Spike grabbed the ball and came back over the fence. "I'm not back cos you asked me. I'm back because I want to."

Buffy stifled a giggle and Spike threw the ball at her head, but her slayer reflexes let her catch it easily.

"Wanna play?" he challenged her, his eyebrow cocked. Knowing Buffy the way he did, he was sure she wouldn't disappoint.

"Prepare to be humiliated."

Satisfied Spike turned to his grandsire, "How about you Angel?"

Peaches turned his back and started to pace around the perimeter of the fence. "Somebody has to stand watch just in case Glory or her minions come."

"Spoilsport!" Buffy called out.

Spike kicked the ball to her and was surprised to see her give him a wink. She placed the ball carefully before kicking it in the direction of Angel. It landed smack bang on the back of the vampire's head.

"Spike!" he growled.

"Sorry, Angel," Buffy lied. "I'm a really lousy shot."

Angel's mouth was open so wide he was danger of swallowing the ball if either of them kicked it at him again.

"I would have got you in the goolies if it were me," Spike couldn't resist pointing out.

"Come on," Buffy pleaded. "Play with us. Learn to live a little."

Angel picked up the ball from the ground where it had fallen. "I must be insane."

The following morning, Spike arose to the sound of feminine giggles. Angel , Buffy and he had spent an hour playing football before they came inside. The Slayer was exhausted and if he was honest he had been quite tired as well and they had finally agreed to try and sleep. As soon as they had arrived back inside Giles had left to get some much needed sleep and Angel had taken over the role of playing prison guard.

Spike walked cautiously into the kitchen making sure the window was obscured. Tara, Willow and Joyce were laughing over pancakes and coffee.

Joyce looked up at his entrance. "Sorry, did we wake you?"

Spike shrugged and pulled himself up onto the stool. "Some pancakes to share?"

Tara handed him a plate.

"Thanks, Glinda," he said and shovelled some pancake into his mouth. "Joyce, you make the best pancakes."

"You can be a right charmer when you want," Joyce said with a smile.

"It's why women find me irresistible," he replied, "even those playing for t'other side."

He was rewarded with a blush from Glinda.

"Stop flirting with my woman," Willow joked.

"So, tell me, how long more do I have to go about climbing up onto stools?"

The three women looked at each other and Spike was filled with a sense of foreboding.

"The spell isn't going well then?" he asked.

"The problem isn't the spell," Willow responded. "The ingredients are rare, really rare."

"We didn't realise just how rare until we tried to order them," Tara added.

"How long are we looking at?" he queried.

"At least a couple of days if not a week," Tara said gently.

Spike scowled. "Bugger."

When darkness fell, Spike and Buffy managed to convince the adults to let them outside again. The situation with Glory meant they had to be careful, but there had been no sign of her or her minions in recent days. After an hour the pair returned inside, determined to nag Joyce into making them cocoa. Joyce and Giles were in the middle of a conversation and didn't even notice their return.

Joyce sounded pained. "When we get Buffy and Spike back to normal, we still have to defeat Glory?"

"Don't worry we won't let her get at Dawn," Giles said soothingly.

"God, I still can't believe she's not real. She feels real. I don't care where she came from, she's still my baby."

Everything just stated to fall into place – all the secrecy and the worry. "Dawn's the key," he muttered watching Buffy's face lose all colour.

"Does she know?" he pressed her.

Buffy shook her head, for once seeming lost for quips.

"Don't you think she has the right to know a hell god is out for her blood?"

Buffy found her voice. "No, Spike," she said firmly. "Dawn would freak out. She doesn't need to know. Promise me you won't tell her."

He made a zipping motion with his hand. "She won't hear it from me, but I'll have you know it's the wrong thing to do. She's better off finding it out from you."

"You better not tell Glory either," Buffy hissed.

Spike's mouth dropped open in surprise at her words. To his surprise Spike felt hurt as not being trusted. He had been doing his utmost of late to be of help to Buffy and the Scoobies, even if he usually demanded payment. But he was fond of Dawn and only she and Joyce were kind to him and treated him as a man not a monster. Spike had an urge to slam the door, which tried to supress out of respect for Joyce, but he stomped out of the room in temper nonetheless. He always had been quick tempered but he found his emotions closer to the surface these days. He knew there was a reason he hated children besides their ear piercing mewling. Soddin' childlike emotions. He was supposed to be the Big Bad after all. He clenched his fists tight, digging his nails into the palms of his hands. He couldn't let anyone see him like this.

"Spike?"

It was Angel, the last person in the world he wanted to see. Of course in this useless little body he couldn't be trusted to defend himself. How pathetic! He was careful to keep his back to the other vampire. In a normal occasion he would never give his grandsire a chance to stab him in the back.

Angel grabbed him by the arm, "Get inside. The sun's up any time…" One look at Spike's miserable face silenced him.

Spike pulled away. "Let go of me!"

"What's wrong?" It was almost funny to see the conflicting emotions flit across Peaches' face.

"Nothing," Spike lied.

"You're a useless liar, William. Always have been and always will be."

"Don't have to tell you if I don't want to."

Angel scowled. "Suit yourself, but if you don't come in soon you'll be vampire flambé."

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Spike glared at him. "I'm stuck in your ex-honey's house and her mother likes me a lot more than you. Must make you sick."

"I'm not the one they kept the truth from though, am I?"

Spike slouched, "No matter what I'll never be good enough. I'm like Marcia in the bleedin' Brady Bunch. I'm not evil enough to be Angelus or good enough to be Angel."

Angel was doing an impression of a fish and Spike realised he had spoken aloud.

"Bloody hell," he moaned. "Don't tell anyone I said that, Angel."

It seemed like Angel was struck dumb even though he had often accused the younger vamp of being jealous of him.

Spike balled his fists. "Come on, are you going to make some jokes at my expense?"

Angel shook his head. "I'm going to forget about this and put it down to you being a kid. Somehow, I just don't have the heart to mock a child."

"Hey, I am not!"

"Doesn't mean I won't tease the hell out of you when you're back to being the thorn in my side. Come on, let's get inside."

Spike and Buffy sat sipping at the hot cocoa. He didn't say much as he was trying to wrap his head around the face that Buffy's little sister was an inter-dimensional key. He was also a little embarrassed at his emotional outburst, but Angel didn't say a word. Buffy kept glancing at him as if she was going to ask him a question.

Finally, she spoke, "Why have you been acting all weird or should I say weirder than normal?"

He turned his back to her. What he wanted to do more than anything was to ask why they never trusted him with the secret. She would just laugh that he even thought he was part of the gang.

"Well?" she demanded.

"I want to know why didn't you tell me about the Bit?" he confessed.

She looked confused. "You're evil, Spike."

"Maybe I am, but I'm fond of the chit. Do you really think I would sell you out to Glory?"

She didn't reply, which was answer enough.

"You're wrong, you insufferable bint, and I will protect the Bit whether you like it or not. Your Mum likes me, and little sis does too, even if you don't."

"I like you, Spike," she said quietly. Her voice was so low if he hadn't been a vampire, he wouldn't know what she said.

"You do?" he asked.

"Well, I hate you, but you're alright sometimes."

He looked away trying the hide the big smile on his face. "You're not so bad either, Slayer."

"We're cool then?" she asked.

He turned back to her, trying to look nonchalant. "Yeah."

"Good. Now, let's pretend this whole thing never happened. There's only so much mind bendy things I can accept happening. Pinky promise?"

He felt like such a prat but he held out his finger. "Pinky promise."

To be continued….


	11. Chapter 11

**Caution Children**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own BTVS;, I just like to play in the world. Thanks for the loan of your characters Joss and Mutant Enemy**_

**Special thank you to Ginar369 for the beta. Any remaining mistakes are my own.**

**Chapter Eleven**

Things were looking up at last as far as Rupert Giles was concerned. Ethan hadn't been as helpful as Giles would have liked and Willow and Tara had difficulty procuring the items required for the spell to return Spike and Buffy back to their normal selves. Nevertheless, from what the witches had told him earlier today they should have preparation complete by the morning and the slayer and vampire should be back to normal at last. Speaking of the duo, the two brats were being increasingly annoying. They didn't seem too bothered by the delay in the spell taking place, perhaps even revelling in the situation. Everywhere Giles went in the Summers' home;, the two were giggling loudly and chasing each other about the house. The Watcher had an almost constant headache from the noise level. Not only were they noisy, they were also playing pranks; Joyce had found salt in the sugar bowl and sugar in the salt shaker. She hadn't been impressed but Spike and Buffy thought it was hilarious. The only way to keep them in line was to keep them busy. The problem was that tiring out two super powered children proved a rather difficult task. Xander was around playing video games with them, and Joyce and Dawn were always on hand for board games. Tara and Willow were too busy working on the spell to help, while he and Angel were preoccupied with the Glory situation. He had tried a truth spell on Ethan but nothing had come out of it, and he suspected that the mage told him all he knew. Despite this and knowing that Ethan could have some defence against a truth spell Giles had taken up Angel's green skinned friend's offer to have Ethan sing for him. This was the man and demon were in the basement listening to Ethan warble some Pink Floyd.

Lorne shook his head, "I'm not getting anything, Rupert. Sorry, it's a wash out."

"See – I told you," Ethan said. "You can let me go now."

"I don't think so, old friend. I can't take the chance of you going back to Glory with information. Besides, you're probably safer here then you are out there."

Ethan shuddered to Giles' satisfaction. The watcher doubted that Glory would show any mercy to someone who had got himself captured by the other side.

"The least you can do is untie me," Ethan insisted. "I won't go anywhere, I promise."

"I know you too well," Giles reminded him, turning his back on the man.

"Bastard," Ethan muttered under his breath.

Giles ignored him and directed his attention to Lorne instead. "What time is Angel supposed to get here?"

Lorne shrugged and looked at his watch. "He should be here soon. He seemed a little down in the dumps today."

Giles raised a brow, "Isn't he always moody?"

"True," the demon conceded with a smile. "But more so than usual. Did you say anything to him?"

Giles squirmed a little. "I might have said we don't really need him here. Glory's been keeping away and we should have our Slayer back to normal soon."

"Well – I think Angelcakes took it to heart," Lorne said.

"I don't know why he's being so sensitive. It's not as if he has been around to help recently. We can manage quite well on our own."

"Why did you call him then?" Lorne asked.

"You know why. Buffy's been incapacitated." Giles was rather annoyed to be feeling a little guilty. He knew he should be grateful for the vampire's help but he didn't want him around any longer than necessary. Seeing him always reminded him of what the vampire was capable of, soulless, and the loss of Jenny Calender struck him anew once more. He shook off the melancholy and tried to bring his mind back to back to the task at hand. There was no need to reopen old wounds.

Once Giles had checked the mage's bonds he and Lorne went upstairs to join Spike, Joyce, Dawn and Buffy. They were sitting in front of the telly engrossed in a movie. Giles looked at the clock on the mantelpiece and wondered again where Angel had gotten to. Surely he hadn't decided to head back to LA without saying a word. He sat down on the settee beside Joyce. Dawn was sitting on her other side, her head on her mother's shoulder. Spike and Buffy were lying on the floor having a thumb war. Giles hadn't been sleeping very well recently and he had started to dose when he was awoken by the sound of a disturbance outside. All the heads in the living room turned to the window. Angel burst in the door, holding on to a struggling creature. It was one of the odd looking servants that Glory had. Buffy and Spike jumped to their feet.

"Can we keep him?" Buffy quipped.

"Don't know if that's such a good idea, Slayer," Spike said. He stinks a bit."

Angel smirked and shoved his strange looking creature into the centre of the room. "I decided to take a detour on my way here and I managed to bump into this little fella. I knocked him out but he came to as I was coming in the garden."

All eyes on the room were upon the new captive. "Let me go. Glorificus will come searching for me. I'm her most loyal servant."

"Hate to break to you, Frodo, but I doubt that bint cares what happens to you," Spike put in. "You could be scrambled hobbit and I don't think she would bat an eyelid."

"How dare you?" the creature spluttered.

"Take him down to the basement," Giles ordered.

"My pleasure," Angel said.

Down in the basement Ethan's mouth dropped open to see he had a fellow prisoner. Buffy and Spike followed them downstairs eager to be involved in the interrogation. The demon or whatever he was, continued to protest that he was protected by Glory and that she could avenge his death.

"Nobody is going to kill you," Giles snapped.

"I might," Angel interjected.

"Or me," Spike added.

Giles rolled his eyes. "Well – they might. Tell us what you know."

"I would rather die than betray my mistress," the demon squeaked. "I would be a martyr to the cause. She would reward me beyond all others."

Giles knew it would be impossible to get anything out of this creature.

Giles locked eyes with his slayer. "Buffy, will you get your mother to ring Willow and Tara? Tell them they are needed over here. It can't wait till morning."

"Sure," she said and ran up the stairs.

Willow arrived within an hour with the ingredients for a truth spell. Giles and Angel were waiting for her in the sitting room. Spike had opted to stay below with the prisoner and was surely tormenting them with snide comments. Joyce had decided to head to bed and had convinced her two daughters to do the same. Angel had taken Lorne and Ethan back to the motel they were staying at. Getting the mage out of the way seemed like a good idea. Willow looked exhausted;, her eyes had bags under them. Maybe he should have waited until the morning?

"Sorry to disturb you," Giles said. "He keeps harping on about how Glory will save him and we can't take any chances that he will escape and we won't get any information."

The redhead's hair was mussed. "Tara stayed behind to make sure that the other spell will be ready for the morning."

"Of course." Giles nodded.

"I'll do the spell and then I have to go back to check on Tara and her progress. That's ok is it?"

Giles decided to make himself a cup of tea while Willow went about doing her spell.

His inherent manners encouraged him to ask Angel. "Would you like a cup?"

"Coffee would be great, thanks. I don't like tea."

Giles shook his head. "What sort of Irishman are you? I've never known an Irish person to refuse a cup of tea."

"Well – I'm not a person am I?" Angel pointed out.

"Touché," Giles replied.

After he was finished making the tea and coffee, the two made their way downstairs. They met Willow halfway up the stairs.

"What colour underpants are you wearing or do you go commando?" Spike was asking.

"What are you doing?" Angel asked.

"White," the demon answered in a dreamy voice.

"Can we see?" Spike asked.

Before Giles could utter a word of protest the demon started to life his robe to reveal his briefs.

"He's telling the truth," Spike announced with a smirk.

"That's enough," Giles said, his lip twitching. "You can let them down now.

Giles had to admit it was a good idea to make sure that the spell was working, although if the minion had any brains he would have figured out what it was the little vampire was doing. He wasn't going to let Spike knew he thought he had the right idea though. Actually, it would be best to get the little vampire out from underfoot.

"Go upstairs, Spike," he ordered. "Go and ring Lorne and make sure our other prisoner is behaving."

"I want to stay," Spike protested with a little stamp of his foot. "What am I? Your secretary?"

"I'll pay you," Giles said.

Spike crossed his arms and pouted. "Ok fine."

"Don't come down again unless I call you," Giles added.

Spike's eyes narrowed into slits and he gave Giles the middle finger.

"As offensive as ever," Giles muttered.

"I really have to go, Giles," Willow said suddenly, reminding him of her presence.

Giles gave her a nod. "Thank you for the help, Willow. We'll see you tomorrow."

Willow waved at them before heading out of the basement. Spike stomped up the stairs after her. Giles and Angel exchanged a look at Spike's surprising obedience. Putting the surprise to one side, they turned back to the prisoner.

"What's your name?" Giles demanded.

"Jinx," the creature said.

"Hello Jinx. You're going to help is by answering our questions truthfully." Giles' kept his tone menacing. "Do you understand?"

Jinx didn't even flinch and that was sure sign that the spell was working.

"What does Glory want the key for?" Angel asked.

"She intends to get home and she needs the key for this. We live only to serve the magnificent and glorious…"

"Does your Glory have any weakness?" Giles asked.

"No – she is all powerful and had a lot of strength. However, there is one way…"

"What way?" Angel asked,

"Glory is actually trapped in the body of a mortal man. This is the only time when she is vulnerable."

"Good lord," Giles muttered.

How extraordinary? This meant there may be a way to defeat her after all. He caught Angel's gaze.

Giles ran his fingers through his hair. "Tell us about the man."

"His name is Ben," Jinx continued, "and he works at the Sunnydale hospital. He is a trainee doctor."

Giles took his spectacles from his nose and began polishing them furiously.

"If we could get rid of this Ben," Angel said, "then this would mean that Glory wouldn't have a body to share."

"I don't think Buffy would agree," Giles said. "Although, I think we should wait and discuss this once the spell is done tomorrow."

So, Glory had a weakness. This was some good news at least. Killing an innocent was an unpalatable option. Nevertheless, if this was their only way of defeating the hell god, they may not have any other choice. He couldn't see Buffy or any of the ladies agreeing to this. Angel and he had lived their lives and saw many terrible things. Could they really sit back and let Glory go on stealing the sanity of people and possible destroy the world all because it was unthinkable to kill one man to save many?

To be continued….


	12. Chapter 12

Thanks to Ginar369 for the beta. She's awesome. Any mistakes are mine as I have a propensity for playing around with my fics even after it's beta'd.

Chapter 12

Eavesdropping was piss easy when you were a vampire. The super hearing for one thing made it very simple. The little tid-bit he heard tonight was very interesting and he knew the Slayer would be delighted that they finally had something on the Hell bint. They finally knew that Glory had an Achilles heel and his name was Ben. He wondered if that was the Ben Buffy was talking to at the frat party recently. The doc had been all over the Slayer, Spike remembered. Spike realised he had gone into game face only when one of his fangs pierced his lip. He shook his head and went back to his human guise. He had been banned from downstairs.

_It was a little uncomfortable to see what passed for a human child enjoying some violence,_ Spike guessed. When he would no longer be so little, the Watcher wouldn't be able to boss him about so much. He supposed seeing as he would be up at the crack of dawn; he probably should try and get some kip. Living in a house full of humans was doing havoc with his sleep pattern. Joyce had left his blankie, pyjamas and a pillow on the sofa for him. Spike took off his shoes and changed into his Spiderman jamies. Joyce bought them the first day he moved in. He preferred to sleep naked but the lady had insisted he wear them and he wouldn't admit it out loud but Spiderman was kind of cool. He settled down on the sofa and had started to drift off when he heard the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs. Spike sat up as Angel walked into the darkened room.

"Interesting little revelation down there?" Spike tilted his head in the direction of the basement.

"Were you listening in?" Angel asked. The older vamp shook his head, making a scoffing noise as if to say he should have known better. "Of course you were."

"Vampire. Can't help but hear." Spike smirked.

Provoking Angel was one of the few delights he had left in life, and little or not so little he would always take full advantage of his talent at it.

"When are you going to let Buffy know?" Spike asked.

Angel turned his back on him. For a moment Spike thought he was going to leave his question unanswered.

Angel stopped at the door, "Giles thinks it would be better coming once she's back to herself."

"And you don't," Spike guessed. "You want to take that decision from her and do the job yourself. Act the noble hero cos you know she'll be devastated and she's too much of a white hat to take out an innocent."

Angel didn't answer, simply opened the door and walked out.

_Typical Peaches_. Either way the truth would out tomorrow. The witches were coming around to do their hocus pocus, and hopefully he would back to his normal self by tomorrow night. He was a little torn truth be told. Buffy and he had formed a tentative friendship, if you could call it that, and he was sure any progress they had made would be lost. He smothered a yawn; he was feeling tired. Living with humans and getting used to their hours meant his body clock was all over the place. Some vampire he was, falling asleep in the wee hours of the morning and getting up when the sun was out. Despite himself he was unable to keep his eyes open. He settled down on the sofa again pulling his blankie tight around him. He would have a long day tomorrow and he figured he would need all the strength he could get.

Spike was woken the following morning by the sound of feminine shrieking coming from upstairs. Dawn and Buffy's voices echoed down the stairs. _What the hell were they doing?_

The answer to that question came bounding down the stairs with the two girls hurling pillows at one another. Spike chuckled and regretted it a moment later when one of the pillows hit him right in the face.

"Oi, you could have taken out my eye."

"Probably would just grow right back," Buffy answered with a saccharine smile.

Spike jumped up from the sofa, another pillow from a tittering Dawn, hit his left ear.

"Oh that's it! You want to take on William the Bloody too. You bints are in for it."

Before he could say another word, the two girls came at him again with the pillows, knocking him to the floor. He went into game face and when Dawn shoved the pillow in his face, he bit it instead. The two girls shrieked with laughter and Spike tore into the pillow. Bits of fluff started flying all around. Oblivious to the mess and noise they were making, none of the three noticed Joyce coming down the stairs. The sitting room was covered in what was left of the pillow and the three culprits in fits of giggles on the floor.

"What on earth?" Joyce looked down at the trio with a disapproving glare. "You three clean that right up."

"No fair," Buffy protested. "It was Spike that made the mess."

"It was you that started it," Spike shot back.

The woman's eyebrows were knitted together in disapproval. "I don't care who started it. I want this room cleaned up right now." She turned to Dawn. "You don't have the excuse of being under a spell."

When they didn't move immediately she raised her voice. "I said right now."

"Oh - am I glad this comes to an end today," Spike heard her mutter as she walked away. He stomped grumpily and began picking up bits of cloth and fluff. He was startled by the click of a camera and whirled around to see Joyce taking pictures. She can't have been too angry despite her tone.

"Get that camera away from me," he said half-heartedly.

She took a couple more pictures of the trio before leaving for the kitchen again. He could understand her need to record the moment for posterity seeing as this should be the last morning of this spell. Spike was feeling a little nervous, knowing that he and Buffy were going to back to their normal selves too. He was afraid that once Buffy was back to herself that their friendship would come to the end.

He wondered for a moment if he had said it out loud as Buffy was staring at him. "What?"

Buffy just shrugged and looked away. He mustn't have spoken aloud after all. He sighed in relief. _Better return to the task at hand then_. He pouted as he cleared the floor. _Cleaning up was just so boring_. When he was back to his normal big bad self, then he would be able to move back to his crypt and he wouldn't have anyone bossing him around. Although, he would miss being mothered by Joyce, playing with Buffy and messing around with Dawn. It wasn't supposed to be this way. Vampires weren't meant to fall for Slayers, want to hang out with their family. It was a simple rule: humans were food. Still, Spike knew he was lost to these Summers' women. They had their hooks in him, and the scariest thing about it was that he didn't mind. Bloody hell – he was screwed.

Giles finally came up from the basement for breakfast. His hair was tousled and his clothes wrinkled. Buffy and Dawn had gone back upstairs to get dressed before eating. Spike looked around carefully to make sure they were indeed alone.

"When are you going to tell Buffy about Ben?" he asked.

Giles looked puzzled. "What are you on about?"

"Ben. Glory…" Spike prompted.

"I've no idea what you're talking about." Giles rolled his eyes and headed for the kitchen.

So the Watcher wasn't going to bite. It didn't matter. Once all the witchy hoodoo had been done he could tell Buffy all about the secrets Giles and Angel weren't sharing. He could smell the tantalising aroma of pancakes coming from kitchen. Mmm pancakes with blood smeared all over them. His mouth watered at the thought. Before he could walk into the kitchen to indulge, the front door swung open and Harris and Demon Girl walked in.

Harris took one look at him and smirked. "I hear you little monsters are going to be back to full size later. I'll be able to tease you without feeling guilty."

Spike stuck out his tongue, regretting it instantly at the smug expression on Harris' face.

"Poor itty bitty Spikey." He reached out and tousled Spike's hair.

Spike pulled away from him with a growl. He ignored Harris' laughter, inwardly swearing to get his own back in a couple of hours.

It was midday before Glinda and Red arrived. They had created a circle in the floor of the sitting room for Spike and Buffy to stand in while they did their jiggery pokery. Spike was nervous as hell, not looking forward to being the focus of a spell once again. He could feel the eyes of everyone in the room on him and the Slayer. The two had on the clothes they had been wearing when they had been turned into little mites. The oufits were falling off them and Dawn was giggling hard at the sight. No amount of glaring from Spike or Buffy could stop her.

Buffy had enough and stamped her foot. "Mom! Dawn keeps laughing at us."

"Dawn, be quiet or you can go upstairs," Joyce chastised.

The threat was enough to silence the giggles. "I'll be good," she promised.

Satisfied, Joyce came up and squeezed Spike's shoulder. It gave him a warm fuzzy feeling that Joyce was fussing over him.

"Nervous?" she asked.

"No," Buffy and Spike lied.

Joyce smiled fondly at them. Despite, the fact that he wasn't her own Joyce had welcomed him into the family home, and for the first time since he was a child he felt like he _was_ home. As much as he loved Dru, he was always an interloper in the Aurelius family, dirt in Darla's eyes and a nuisance in Angel's. As much as he wanted to back to his normal self, he would miss living in the house with the Summers' women.

"Are you ready?" Willow asked Buffy and Spike.

"Yes." Buffy stepped closer to him and laced her fingers through his, and he squeezed them.

Willow and Tara took their places and the two witches started to recite words in Latin. Spike felt a tingle in his body and immediately felt woozy, falling to the ground before everything went black. His last coherent thought was how much he hated magic.

Spike could hear noise all around. He tried to open his eyes but it was like they were glued shut.

"Are they alright?"

_Was that Dawn?_ He managed to open one eye briefly.

"You never said anything about them possibly being hurt by the spell."

_Joyce, the mother hen, turning on Red. _He got the other eye open.

He groaned and forced himself to blink several times until his surroundings stopped looking fuzzy. He had a thumping headache and he groaned. He could feel Buffy beside him and he realised with a jolt she was still holding his hand.

"Magic sucks," Buffy moaned. "I feel like crap."

When she froze for a moment Spike suspected she had seen their joined hands. Not unsurprisingly, she let go of his hand and sat up.

"Sorry," Willow said, looking sheepish. "But at least you're back to your normal size, right?"

Spike looked down and was delighted to see the clothes he was wearing fitted him. He jumped to his feet.

"Get me my duster," Spike ordered.

Joyce raised her brow questioningly, her look screaming "Manners, William."

"Please," he added automatically.

"A little manners goes a long way," Joyce shot over her shoulder.

Buffy was smirking. _Oh bugger_.

"What?"

"You're not such a big Bad after all." Buffy's lip was twitching.

"It's the spell," he lied. He knew he was fighting a losing battle for his reputation after such a faux pas. Ceding defeat he added, "Well, the lady knows how to wield an axe."

Bloody hell – he needed to get of here and kick some ass before he turned back into William the ponce. Joyce walked back into the room with his beloved coat and Spike took it gratefully from her. Ah that was better. He felt more like himself again. It was still early enough that he couldn't leave the house but the revelations of the previous night held promise for the hours ahead.

"Oi! I'm calling a Scooby meeting."

"You're not a Scooby," Xander sneered. "You can't call a Scooby meeting."

Spike glared at the whelp. He looked at Buffy, daring her to repeat what Harris said.

"I think we should listen," Buffy said, surprising and from the looks of it Rupert and Harris too. "You better have a good reason for this, though."

Spike's mouth was agape and he composed himself quickly. "It's very important. It's about that Glory bint."

Spike could feel the tension in the room.

He turned to Giles. "So – Watcher. When are you going to fill us all in on your little secret?"

The Watcher frowned, "What secret?"

Spike sighed. "Are you starting to lose your marbles, old man? I happened to overhear your conversation with Mr Scabby last night."

"What on earth are you wittering on about?"

Spike looked incredulous. "Don't you remember what the hobbit told you last night?"

There was no sign of recognition on the man's face at all. _Why wouldn't Giles remember? _ Spike's mouth dropped open, the pieces starting to come together in his mind; there must be some mojo going on here.

Try a new tack, Spike spoke slowly as if talking to a child, "Ben is Glory, and Glory is Ben."

Spike revelled for a moment in the joy of belittling the watcher. He had been wanting to do that for a long while now since he was no longer pint sized.

"Is there a point to this?" Buffy asked, her eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Bloody genius," Spike muttered. "It must be some sort of spell."

"What spell?" Joyce and Giles asked in unison.

Knowing the importance of the news he was about to land on the Scoobies, he paused for dramatic effect for a moment.

"Your hellgod is trapped in the body of a mortal. There's your way to defeat her."

"He's lying," Harris declared. "He's in league with Glory."

Spike rolled his eyes. "Yeah and I volunteered to let her turn me into a little brat to win your trust."

Anya put a calming hand on Xander's shoulder. "This sounds highly improbable but I don't think there is any reason Spike would lie."

"Besides, you haven't heard the best bit yet," Spike continued. "In a couple of minutes you won't remember. Go speak with the hobbit again and he'll tell you the same story. Angel would back me up for once."

"This better not be a stupid prank, Spike," Buffy interjected.

They were back to the mistrust again. That didn't take long.

"It's not." He turned to the witches. "That spell'll still be in place, you reckon?"

"I – I think so," Tara said.

"Let's go ask him then." Spike made his way down to the basement.

He could hear the others follow, mumbling and grumbling.

"And why are we listening to the evil dead?" Harris put in.

"Why would he send us out down here if it would prove him wrong?" Buffy pointed out. Spike's chest swelled at the Slayer defending him. "I mean if he was messing with our heads, surely he would want to escape a dusty ending and there is no exit from here."

Spike was about to protest hotly before he noticed the playful gleam in her eyes.

His heart was lighter as he approached the imprisoned creature. "Oi you!"

Jinx raised his head. "Me?" he wheezed.

"Yeah – you. Tell us what you told the watcher last night about Ben."

"Ben is the vessel to hold Glorificus' essence. The spell put upon her meant she had to share the body of a baby human male."

Spike whirled around, a triumphant grin on his face. His heart sank at the slacked expressions greeting him.

"Forget what?" Buffy asked. "I feel kind of funny."

Spike sighed. "And is there a spell that makes humans forget?"

Jinx continued paying attention only to his questioner. "Yes – it allows her to transform without there being any questions. It leaves people disoriented and confused but none the wiser."

"Is there anything that can help people remember?" Spike asked.

Jinx shook his head. Spike gritted his teeth. He really didn't think this through. If the survival of the Bit was down to his planning, then she was a goner.

"Where has Peaches disappeared to?" Spike asked. "I hate to admit it but I could do with a little help."

Giles was wiping his glasses with a tissue, "I don't know."

"Never mind, I reckon I'll have to save the day all on my own."

"That'll be the day," Giles muttered.

Buffy was scrunching her nose adorably. "What are we doing down here anyway? I think Giles got all of the information out of it that we're going to get."

Spike suppressed a chuckle. The bint had no clue and he knew he shouldn't laugh, but he was still evil. He might be chipped but he could still enjoy a chit making a fool out of herself, although it was more fun when they knew they were doing such a thing. He had to sort things out once and for all.

"Joyce? Have you got any large pieces of cardboard?"

"There are spare boxes in the recycling bin."

"Could you fetch some and something to write with? A marker or some such."

"I'll help," Tara said.

A few moments later the two women returned and took the cardboard boxes from them.

"Now, I need you to tell these good folks about Ben once more," Spike ordered Jinx.

While, Jinx told his rapt audience about Glory/Ben, Spike scribbled notes on cardboard. He took several pieces and he figured if he put them in every room in the house, he might be able to get them focused enough to research. His strength lay in his fists and his fangs, but that would have to wait until nightfall.

Several hours later it was dark and there was still no sign of Angel. Spike went outside for a much needed cigarette. He stood on the porch searching out the darkness for any sign of the incredible poof. His head was pounding and he was grateful for some respite from the mad house inside. Every couple of minutes everybody started to forget about the Glory and Ben link. The only bit of luck was the more times the Scoobies saw the cardboard it seemed they grasped it for a little longer the next. As grateful as he was for small mercies, Spike had never yearned for the absence of his chip more. He was sorely tempted to tear the lot of them apart limb from limb. He was never one for patience and this was the testing every little bit he could muster. _Soddin' humans._ The only other person that was immune to the magic was conveniently out. Speaking of the ponce in question, Spike wondered at the timing of his disappearance. Could it be that Angel was taking matters in his own hands? That had to be it. And the wanker knew the magic would mean that Giles would forget about the revelation. Spike shook his head, cursing himself for being slow on the uptake. Spike took one last drag from his cigarette and threw it to the ground. He stamped hard on it before walking back inside. Buffy and Joyce were making food in the kitchen.

"You won't want to miss this, Slayer," Spike warned as he walked through the kitchen.

"Huh?"

Spike didn't bother turning around; he knew Buffy would follow. Just as he had left them, Giles, Willow and Tara were in full research mode. There were scraps of paper all over the table with "Ben equals Glory" scribbled on them as well as one of the signs Spike had penned earlier.

Willow was mumbling quietly, "Ben is Glory, and Glory is Ben."

Tara had a book in her hand and Spike spotted a piece of paper open on the page. The two witches were smart. You had to hand it to them.

Spike figured he might need to remind Buffy and Joyce of the situation. "Read the signs!"

Buffy and Joyce just smiled and showed him where they had written the message on the backs of their hands.

Spilke smirked. "You're ahead of me, then. Why didn't I think of that?"

"Because you're stupid," Buffy retorted with a saccharine smile.

Spike barely restrained himself from sticking out his tongue. He gave her a one fingered salute instead.

"William!" Joyce chastised.

Spike rolled his eyes and turned his gaze on the Watcher. "Did Peaches say where he was going this morning?"

"No. Why?"

"I think he might have gone after Ben," Spike said.

"Ben?" Giles asked. "Ben who?"

"You bloody well know who?" the vampire snapped, pointing at the cardboard sign.

"Oh yes." The Watcher blinked confusedly. "Ben is Glory's vessel,"

Spike picked up a scrap of paper and put it in front of the man's face. "You might want to keep one of those scraps of paper on your book like Glinda here."

"Save the lecture, Spike," Giles said testily.

The vampire ignored the grumpy Watcher and spoke to the women in the room. "And that's the other thing. I reckon Angel's going after Ben himself."

"What do you mean?" Buffy said.

His face snapped to hers. "What do you think, Slayer? He's going to off him for you. He knows you'd never do it yourself."

"He wouldn't." Buffy's face had gone pale.

"He would and I would agree with him," Giles added. "It's the lesser evil after all."

The silence in the room after that proclamation was deafening.

To be continued…


End file.
